Reality.

Ahh...sweet relationships...this is reality. I actually know who these people are. Frightening.



30 Cups. Never enough.

Swing.

Alfie.

Gilda. I look on an evening with just one bird as only half the menu...matter of fact, what I like is to have three women--I don't mean all there at once, but all three on tap. And I like a bit of variety in them: one thin, one fat and one medium, or say, one very young, one a bit older and another in between. You'll find with three like that you'll get the most of your needs satisfied. Mind you, I never like to go straight from one bird to another without a break in between, I find I need a bit of a change, a bit of a talk with a few mates, so I nipped into a pub where I knew one or two of my mates hang out. I don't like making fixed arrangements with anybody--I like to live in a casual come -and-go-style.

Late nite music chemistry

My favorite from Our Love To Admire. One part Pixies, one part Zeppelin and Ozzy-like vocals. Nice.

Interpol - Rest My Chemistry


Just a rage and three kinds of yes.

Edukation. (Circa 1913)

Donations. We receive literally thousands of books and other materials a year. In fact over 20% of our collection at the branch is from patron donations. Sorting through the boxes/bags can sometimes be drag, but many a gem has been discovered. Today something special (even more special than the Kind of Kabob cookbook from a few months back) caught my eye (the lazy one). An absolute gem!

Excerpts from A Manual of Sex Hygiene (1914) by Winfield Scott Hall Ph.D (M.D.) & Jeannette Winter Hall (Biologist, Teacher and Mother):

From the Introduction:

It not infrequently happens that one unclean child will contaminate a whole neighborhood of clean-minded children before the parents discover the condition.

Further into the Introduction (superficially profound with not-so-subtle racist overtones or is that undertones?):

We find that our race emerged from a condition known as Primeval Man into a condition somewhat advance above that, known as Savagery. Our race was in the condition of Savagery from about six or seven thousand years ago (!) to four thousand years ago. Savages are fetish-worshiping, raft-sailing, cave-dwelling children of Nature.

From about Four thousand years ago to about one thousand years ago our ancestors lived in the forests of central Europe and southeastern Europe, and were in the age of Barbarism. This age is characterized as crude and cruel, rough and ready, venal and vulgar, blundering and blustering Barbarism. In their age of Barbarism they lived in tents if they were nomadic, in rude dwellings of stone and log if not nomadic. They were developing the industries concerned in the making of implements of war and the chase, of fabrics of apparel, and of various conveniences about the home. It was the age of war and the chase. It was an age of hero worship. Woman was a chattel; affection and consideration for the woman was no known.

From this age of Barbarism our race emerged into Chivalry over a thousand years ago. The age of Chivalry was at its height about five hundred years ago and merged by imperceptible gradation into our present system. In the age of Chivalry society as we know it came into being. The shackles were stricken from a woman, and she came into her present high estate.

Of course in 1913, if your point of reference for women's rights is the age of barbarism, no doubt women were indeed in high estate.

Onto an actual conversation (okay, a theoretical one between a mother and daughter):

"Why, Mother, the ovaries of a girl then are sacred to her womanhood, aren't they?"

"Yes, daughter, and that is why Mother has told you this story of womanhood, so you would always have that attitude toward this part of your body. The sex apparatus of a girl is, as you say, sacred to her womanhood. And do you see, daughter, that when a girl comes to have this feeling toward her sex apparatus, as she surely will have once she once understands the plan her Creator for the development of her womanhood, she could never be misled by an older, vulgar-minded girl into habits of touching or even thinking about her sex organs in such a way as to cause irritation or excitation of them."

"Yes, Mother, I understand perfectly, and I can not understand how any girl should ever do such a thing. There are some girls in school who frequently use vulgar language that makes us girls blush with shame. Surely these girls have not had these things explained to them by their mothers, or they would not use such language as they do."

On girls' monthly visitations (rights):

"But, Mamma, does this happen every month?"

"Yes, daughter, every twenty-eight days as a rule. But, daughter, this experience, which is common to all womanking and which may not at first be easy to become adjusted to, is your Creator's preparation of you for future motherhood."

"Why, Mamma, that is very different. You know I want to be a mother some time just as you are. I want some day to have a little baby all my own whose little warm, soft body I can hold close up to me."

"Yes, daughter, Mother wants you to be a daughter some day too. So when this comes to you, this staining of your linen with the first monthly period, if you will come to Mother she will give you further instructions as to just how to take care of yourself."

(1) That she should cleanse her external sex organs each morning and evening with tepid water as near to her blood temperature as possible.
(2) That she should during the three to five days of her monthly period abstain from and strenuous exercise such as dancing, skating, rowing, long cross-country walking, horseback riding, bicycle riding, or anything else that would not be called gentle exercise.
(3) That she should not take a cold bath during those days; and if in summer, of course, not go in swimming at the bathing beach.
(4) That she should carefully avoid getting her feet wet, in fact should take especial car during those days to keep both hand and feet warm and dry
(5) That she should try to cultivate a spirit of happiness and contentment during those days; though she might feel both unhappy and discontented sometimes, she should restrain herself and never permit herself to give expression to any unhappiness, irritation, annoyance or discontent.
(6) Today, daughter, you had better stay at home with Mother.

Mother knows best. You know, I haven't actually finished reading a book in months...I'm completely and utterly fascinating with this one. I am so going to finish this one. Now, if we could just build a time machine and bring me back a girl circa 1913--one who never permit(s) herself to give expression to unhappiness, irritation, annoyance or discontent. I can dream can't I?

Will keep you updated on Sex Hygiene tips circa 1913. Next update will be about entering into Manhood. (I skipped over the entire "Where to babies come" part...too much good stuff in this one!) Surprisingly, there is some information in this Manual that is still quite relevant today, but there's also much in here at us post-post-modern folk would scoff at. Society of scoffers we've become. 1913, must've taken some courage to even publish a book such as this. Top hats off to the authors.

I am so going to be late for work in the AM.

Bach Ke Rehna Re Baba

"I used to be like you, now look at me--I'm dating two Asian girls."
--David Cross from School For Scoundrels (2006)

On now...Bach Ke Rehna Re Baba (exact translation eludes me), on ARYDI satellite channel (major Urdu language satellite channel--based/uplinked from the UAE--where else?). Bach Ke ("saved") game show is hosted by what appears to be a Chinese girl speaking fluent Urdu. Totally fascinating. She's got the accent and mannerisms down cold. Wow. Just wow. Hopefully they/she gives us a name. The game itself is a mix between the Price Is Right and Nick's Double Dare where contestants (teams of two teens--boy/girl) compete for cash prizes...roll giant dice on then perform all sorts of not-so-challenging games. The show is god awful, but I'm totally fascinated by the chupti host.

Sophia Chee is her name and she just signed off with Allah-Hafiz. Amazing. I don't watch much television, but all this Urdu language programming is bringing me back to my roots...okay, so my roots are grounded squarely in the mean streets of the San Fernando Valley (like, yea), but never underestimate the power of false pride!


Sophia Chee

Late nite music with oysters and dry lancers...

What college music sounds like. These guys surely didn't drop out of art school.

Pavement - Shady Lane (1997)


It's everybody's God.

Late nite poetry...that works!

Poetry ala Frank Tovey aka Fad Gadget on being coy.

Coitus Interruptus

Coitus interruptus
I digress, I've tried again
All this love sick repetition
I confess, I lied again

Coitus interruptus
Emission impossible
Catch this blood clot in a vacuum
Get your cheap thrills
I'll do it my way

The boys sleep with girl
The boys sleep with boy
Never find that high
Never acting coy
Never acting coy

What would you do for Rs1000?

Just finished watching a show called Living On The Edge (theme song by Aerosmith, who else?) on The Musik satellite channel. Touted as the first Indo-Pak dare (as in I double dare you paki) show. A kind of desi Fear Factor sans production value or budget. I came into it a bit late, but the dare apparently was to eat tablespoons of red chili powder. The record was 12 tablespoons. The poor girl ate 9 and couldn't go any longer. Then they had a miserable drawn out interview with the pagal larki who took on the challenge. For...get this 1000Rs. Rupees my Western friends. PKR.

1000 PKR = $16.5027 USD

I would pay the poor girl 2000Rs to stop. The girl said something about wanting to break to record, as some kind of nationalist pride or something. I think I heard that correctly, national pride. I laughed when I heard it, but now as I write this, I'm thinking...getting into the Guinness Book of World Records--a first for a Pakistani woman. For...swallowing spoonfuls of chili powder. Thomas Friedman would be proud. The World. Flat indeed.

Conspiracy Update: The South Asian/Pakistani satellite package from Disk Network comes with a couple bonus channels. One of which is the new PNTG Channel. Hey! Freedom Journal Iraq is on...we're winning! Yea!

Quote of the day...

From the Reporters On The Job (World) column of the Christian Science Monitor (6/6/07):

World Editor David Clark Scott writing, Even US Mideast Friends Worried.

"I have a complaint about the American people," Sheikh Hani Fahs, A Shiite cleric in Beirut who is well known for forging Christian-Muslim dialogue in Lebanon, told Scott [Peterson, Staff Writer] during a long interview.

Until Then, the conversation had focused on the chances of civil war in Lebanon, the Shiite mind-set, and Sheikh Fah's own past close contact with the leader of Iran's 1979 revolution, Ayatollah Khomeini. But peering at Scott through thick glasses, the cleric had something else on his mind, too.

"You [Americans] used to elect presidents who were enemies, but were sane. Now you have become as insane as we are," said Fahs, with more than a hint of sadness.

Terry Du Jour

Terry Crews singing in White Chicks. I love that song.

Live Blogging: Miss Universe 2007

I'm thinking it's gonna be an Asian this year...don't know how the judges judge or if they are doing anything at all. Think it is completely bogus/rigged. Think the winner is chosen for completely political...meaning for geo-political reasons...think about the previous years winners...more on this later...okay we're back...

I can see the Dominican Republic contestant in the back...she is hot as hell...please don't show the Donald...ruining the show for me...

Final strut for the 2006 Miss Universe Puerto Rico. Hot.

Ernst & Young gives the final results...no blondes! Now that's refreshing.

4th Runner Up: USA
3rd Runner Up: Korea
2nd Runner Up: Venezuela (clearly disappointed she didn't win--her mannerisms totally give away her sheer disbelief). Come on now..seriously, two words...Hugo. Chavez. You really think we're gonna give it to a woman from Hugo Chavez land?!
1st Runner Up: Brazil (standing next to Miss Japan--like seeing a Woman and a little boy standing next to each other).

Miss Universe 2007: Miss Japan. I can totally see her headlights. I called it! An Asian. I am special too!

No one sings?! What happened to the winners song? Where's the cheesy crooner? This is terrible...totally rushed towards the end...

Live Blogging: Miss Universe 2007

5 Left. Winner takes all. Oooh...the gigs/perks/gifts for the winner..nice crown/tiara. Japanese designed. Modeling contract. Fancy watch. Swimware. Japanese designer clothes. Hair care products. Denim from YMI. New York Film Academy grant. I'm thinking Asia will win this year...everyone is tired of these hot Latin girls winning every year.

They just turned the music up for Miss USA final strut...interesting...possibly trying to mute out the boos...

The Top 3...after commercial break...I can't wait...anticipation is killing me...

Live Blogging: Miss Universe 2007

Top 5 have been chosen:

Venezuela
Korea (Honey Lee!)
Brazil
USA (What?! How? Why?!)
Japan

Where is my African Nubian princess?! Boo! In the words of Moog...this is the bullshit of all bullshit! USA should not be in the top 5. Boos from the audience! Hahaha! Viva Mexico.

The Questions: Time to hit the mute button on my remote (haha!)

Venezuela: Dave Navarro is asking question. What the hell kind of question is this? Dave Navarro is pervert! She answered well though...patronizes Mexico. She really believes she's going to win.

Korea: If you could have any type of superpower, what/why? Save the world she reckons. And have a fat wallet or something. She can't speak too well it seems--plus it looks like her mouth is crooked. Boo! She's still cute as hell though.

Brazil: Michelle Kwan asking question. Following your heart or mind? Wow. This woman just oozes sensuality. A little wink & a nod. Futile to resist this Brasiliana. Just plain sexy. Patronizes Mexico. Mmmm...brasilian portugese spoken by this beauty...man I'm weak.

USA: Getting booed! Yes! I love Mexicans! I love this show. Oh shit, that crowd is brutal. God bless us all! Terrible! She couldn't even say Mejiko very well. She shouldn't have made this far anyway.

Japan: That translator is a dweeb. Lifes lessons. Patronizes Mexico. She is dancer she says. Dweeb translator! She did good job.

Real..tough decision for the judges...

Live Blogging: Miss Universe 2007

Okay...so it's time for the Top 5. The show itself becomes a two hour tourism junket for the host country...not to mention the girl from the host country is guaranteed a top placement. Wow...Viva Mexico! Slater stop trying to speak espanglish you maricon!

NBC Online voters picked...

Miss Philippines as most photogenic. She is cute.

Miss China: Miss Congeniality (I think I heard her say...you nice gentleman...)

Top 5 next. Miss India is a mess this year...don't like her at all..

Live Blogging: Miss Universe 2007

Mario "Slater" Lopez (world's phoniest Mexican) and the Lachey Filipina are seriously annoying. The girls (contestants) got to visit Chiapas...interesting...Mexico's ultimate playground?! The Evening gown contest is on now...

The Scores:

The Brazilian really fills up that dress...full bodied woman. Voluptuous would be an understatement. 9.599

India: 7.825 (terrible!) She had on a terrible dress/sari and performed one of the lousiest struts I've ever seen--all the while holding up her dress. Blah!
Japan: 8.943 The girl can strut! Great flowing dress and showing tremendous confidence.
Angola: Go Angola! Hot (8.363) Her red dress looked trashy/cheap.
Venezuela: Too much makeup...overly done. 9.510 She really fills up that dress! Voluptuous.
USA: Fell on her ass! Oh My God! Holy Shit. Ha. Ha. 8.754 Bogus score! That's total BS. What is this sympathy points?
Korea: She is cute as hell. I totally feel the need to get a massage. 9.163
Tanzania: Beauty. 8.488 (Boo!) Her dress looked like off-the-rack prom dress. Cheap. Poor strut.
Nicaragua: 7.674 (lowest so far) Dress looks like nightgown.
Mexico: 7.850 (low) Can't understand why she got such a low score??