How do you say crook in Urdu?

"Playboy"

BBC Profile:

He spent several years in jail on charges of corruption. He was labelled "Mr 10%".

He found himself in major trouble in 1990 when he was accused of tying a remote-controlled bomb to the leg of a businessman and sending him into a bank to withdraw money from his account as a pay-off.

As a rule of opposable thumbs, never ever under any circumstance trust anyone named Asif. As if? Please. Crook? Possibly, but he'll be a pro-Western crook! Well why didn't you just say so in the first place? Send cash quick!

What say you Democracy?

Harmony, balance, beauty! Or simply looking for Chinese investors?

Red.

Red is hot. It's a strong color that conjures up a range of seemingly conflicting emotions from passionate love to violence and warfare. Red is Cupid and the Devil.

Red is power, hence the red power tie for business people and the red carpet for celebrities and VIPs (very important people).

Flashing red lights denote danger or emergency. Stop signs and stop lights are red to get the drivers' attention and alert them to the dangers of the intersection.

In some cultures, red denotes purity, joy, and celebration. Red is the color of happiness and prosperity in China and may be used to attract good luck.Red is often the color worn by brides in the East while it is the color of mourning in South Africa. In Russia the Bolsheviks used a red flag when they overthrew the Tsar, thus red became associated with communism. Many national flags use red.

First it was Nevada State Hwy signs, now this...for over a year now, I've been watching every Bank of America location update it's signage to it's (newer) logo to a red background with red or occasionally blue text (see below). I totally flip out every time I see it now. Red on Red?

What say you dear Aesthetic?


Logo w/white background. Super!


Passion?




Let the eagle soar!

En vivo...

Miss Mol as The Notorious Bettie Page

Watched more t.v. tonite than I have in years...

Watched a few minutes of Russell Brand hosting the MTV Music Awards, was sad to see him perform for such a sorry ass audience. When exactly did Kurt Loder become a wing-nut job?

Entourage. Season 5. What's it been 18 months? So after four seasons, we've come full circle...like watching the first season all over again. One word--gratuitous. And that's a good thing. Til next week.

True Blood. Bayou flavored vampire dramady. Indeed the vampire craze is in full swing. Apparently the grandma from Twister is in it. And that's pretty much all I recall. Aren't we due for a UFO craze?

How would I go about stalking meeting Gretchen Mol? I like her even more since I found out she named her son Ptolemy. As a brunette! Mmmm...Gretchen, like geography is spatial! Get it?! Spatial! I kill me. Why am I thinking of Miss Mol you ask? The Notorious Bettie Page is on now...Gretchen is amazing. However, the film itself is a bit unbalanced. Apparently, everyone in Tennessee is a creep/abuser/rapist/molester/religious nut. And all the smut peddlers/pornographers/bondage fiends in New York are hard working good folk. It's all so innocent! They're just pictures. They're just props! Come on now...how naive do they reckon we is? Irving Klaw? Seriously, total scumbag.

I recall watching my first Bettie Page video some dozen odd years ago...featured a dude in a monkey-suit knotting Bettie up improper like. Classic.

Amen.

Following up...

How can you slap redux. It was only a matter of time.

When keepin' it real goes too far...

Fun with Hindoos.



Does this mean he's officially off the show?

Here's the deal, listen, seriously, here's the thing--if you are the host of a lame English language Indian reality show and your job is to slap contestants around dressed like some kind of Desi dominatrix, don't be surprised if a little guy dressed as a Bavarian fruitcake slaps you back every now and then. These things are bound to happen. Just think of the ratings!

For the record, I stand with the fruity guy. Seems like a sweet sweet man. How can she slap? Seriously.

No bones about it...

Courtesy Rossetti Archive

Like the mighty fist of God, Armageddon will descend upon the fashion world. I predict and slow miserable death...truth be told it's long over due. I don't claim to know who/what/where/how it started. Pirates? Secret societies? Animists? Headhunters? The Aryan Brotherhood? Yale University? OPEC? Yes, blame OPEC!

Enough!

In the new days--I reckon the culprits reside mostly in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. In fact, I'm convinced it's mandatory for every angry asshole in LV to sport that shit. I digress, what more can be said of fashion that hasn't already been said? In this case, that Wilde fellow was wrong when he wrote, fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. Sorry Oscar, you weren't around long enough to meet Sir Ed Hardy. The imagery probably says something about our society today. What exactly, I don't know. I have my theories; War. Guns. Violence. Cage fighting. Fear. Paranoia. Ten-fold increase in karate school enrollment. An affliction indeed. I'm being vague. I'll get to the point. It's got to end. Please. God. End it now. Save humanity and fashion. I'll make a deal with you...how about this-- ban any clothing with skulls and/or bones, crosses, guns or roses printed, flocked, stitched, stamped, or glued on it from every town save for Las Vegas and I will vote Republican this November. Fair? Strike them down God. Thanks! Oh, and if you could get Hollywood to stop casting talentless fat curly-haired Jewish dudes named Seth in every film I would totally stop using your name in vain.

Truth Alert & Update: 5 years ago I purchased a black Affliction t-shirt with skulls/horses on it. It has since been donated to an angry White guy in Clark County, NV. In return, he gave me all of his old flames/dice garb.

Does anyone still sport Von Dutch?


Borderline White-Supremacist Imagery?

61

Courtesy Ronin 2.0

The Library.

I'm back. Hi. I realize I don't write much about the library anymore--truth be told this is due mostly to laziness, apathy and genuine embarrassment...so here goes...catching up with the happenings and goings on the the Los Angeles Public Library. Some old news, but my take on things is important. Yea.

Beware the Trees

The signs were there. We just didn't heed their warnings. It started with the sap. For months it's been the sap. The dog-forsaken sap. More sap than I've ever seen--ruining many a car exterior and literally flowing down the driveway--staining everything in its wake. Then the Yellowjackets came (bees for the non-naturalists) buzzin' around the Peppercorn tree--instilling fear into the hearts of the evil-doers--library patrons rather. Finally culminating last week--a most brazen daytime assault. An angry Eucalyptus tree in the lot attacked our Adult Librarian's Honda. It was a sight to behold. A freak accident some proclaimed--as a large branch snapped, fell, defied the laws of physics, then made a hard left into the hatchback window. Smash! Absolutely amazing. But this was no freak accident. I know better--the parking lot was designed around the existing trees--much to the displeasure of the public today--the same public, I may point out, during the early public hearings, asked that the trees not be cut down when the new library was constructed. But I digress...much verbal venom has been spewed at those poor trees since--something had to the give. The message they sent was clear. Park elsewhere. Nature 1 Honda 0.

Smile

All library employees had to go in for a new photo-identification card recently. No reason provided. The two gentleman who took our photos--equipped with a notepad and simple low quality slim digi-cam--the kind popluar among myspace-skank-mirror-self-shot takers), didn't look like they were from the library personnel department. I wore a light grey button-up which blended into the white background of the ID. So all you is my brown head floating in space. Next person in line please.

Careful what you wish for

After much public outcry, celebrity op-eds, media scrutiny, a silly Save LAPL website (who claim today that they "Saved LAPL") combined with countless complaints from old White ladies, the city library and librarian (who has since stepped down) rescinded its controversial (not to me) interagency (inter-library to the layperson) planned loan fee of $1.00/per book--which btw costs the city one half hour of work per book, and more importantly makes life for library clerks miserable (I'm looking at you serial reservists). A compromise would have been to simply limit the number of Interagency requests a month. Right now of course there is no limit--so we have patrons who literally have 90 requests (on multiple cards).

So, in lieu of that, the library decided to--shorten the loan period for books back to two weeks instead of three (more I think about it hurts slow readers or our English as second language friends). Increase overdue fees to .30/per day. New non-Resident fee of $25. Increase the collections fee to $15. Among other recent increases--photocopier fee increase to .25. I'm sure I am forgetting other increases, but you get the idea. Yes, careful what you wish for indeed. Ha. Ha.

Public Libraries more popular than ever

Videos stores beware.

TKO

The company that provides every L.A. Public Library with "free" wireless is called Telkonet Inc. with it's Ethostream service. Listed on the AMEX (I've been watching the stock for almost two years), is trading at near its yearly low @ .44/share even though it reported a recent revenue increase. I don't know how long the the city's contract with the company is, but how hard could it possibly be for the city to provide its own wireless service?

More library related news/insights/adventures to come....hang on tight.

pRice Gouging...

Fancy rice cooker. Sans rice.

One single isle at the local Persian/Armenian/Kosher/Lebanese/Arab/South Asian produce market in the Valley was nearly empty yesterday. Rationing. Commodity Speculators. Bio-Fuel. Drought. Exports bans. Protectionism. Hoarding. Greed. Sushi rolls. Fried Rice. Risotto. Gumbo. Rice and beans. Not the rice and beans! What the hell am I supposed to do without rice?! I'm gonna start rollin' up on those "Your Name On a Grain Of Rice" artists--and be like...brace yourself sucka! Brace yourself! What? It's break yo'self! Break yo'self?! That doesn't make any sense. How can I break myself? I can totally brace myself. But Break?! Nevermind that...this is a serious issue--how hard is it to grow rice? Cultivate, farm, pick. Seems like a lot of work...we're all doomed! Maybe I can make some cash with "Blame Corn" or "No Corn for Oil" t-shirts...

Some links.

Rice Shortages @ Wiki
Rice Shortages News (Google)
Understadning Global Rice Crisis

Man goes on cross-country tour to spell check typos on signs

View video here. We could use this guy at the branch. I'm going on cross-country tour to teach people how to wash their hands...

Feliz Dia del César Chávez!

We got the day off! Yea! Read my post from last year on Sir Julio. Every year our White friends are shocked about the State holiday. Que!? I did my part and ate some grapes. Now if only the farm workers today had the day off...

Freedom Cookies?

Has it been over a month since I last posted?! As if anyone other than the list-makers care? We're all on some list...what's your score?

"Would you like to buy a box for the troops overseas?" F*@k!

Every year I buy Girl Scout cookies, this was the first time I've been put in such a frightening predicament. They were all staring, waiting for an answer--three bright-eyed girls and the older woman (there's always an older woman. Mom? Guide leader?). Almost as earth-shattering as hearing the words, "I'm pregnant" for a guy. Great dilemma--do I send a box of cookies to the Marines liberating Iraq? Why not to the children of Iraq I thought. Or to the homeless for that matter. But if I say no, I support the evil-doers. In the end my slightly above-average IQ flickered on and I got out of it by smiling and bumbling--Oh, I want to eat the cookies myself! Hehe. Lies. Lies. I gave the four boxes away to my nephews & bro-in-law. No intention of eating them myself. Them cookies is deadly. Remind me to send a box or two when the war ends. This was outside a Wal-Mart in glamorous Poway, CA. I can't think of any activity more American than shopping at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is as American as...well, crack cocaine. Pristine American business model that Wal-Mart has. Coincidentally I recall conservative writer and all-around funny man, Dinesh D'Souza responding to a college student's question--how do I know when I've become a real American? Dinesh quipped--When you vote Republican! Now that's just plain silly--it's when you enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart. Always. Wait..it's Buy Low. Live Better or something...

And who/what exactly are the Girl Scouts? And why cookies? Why not hummus or tamales or potstickers or medjool dates?! I would so buy medjool dates. But it's always the cookies. Every year. Mix it up a bit ladies. Come on now.

Are we back up?

For nearly two weeks, all 1300 L.A. Public Library computers have been on the fritz. Mums the word as to what caused the meltdown--which began a couple days before the New Year holiday. Heads haven't rolled yet as a result...some should I reckon. It's been a frustrating couple weeks. But it seems alls well again...kinda...I lost my files on the desktop on one of the staff computers. Luckily I keeps backup. I am smart. Now if I recall, the tech admin support for the Library Dept. was like 2 extra people for the '07-08 fiscal year...I just feel bad for some patrons, actually I don't. I feel much worse for library staff who have had to play catch-up for the past 10 days or so. Stupid computers. Stupid library computers. Stupid internet. Stupid servers. Stupid books. People should just watch more TV.

My favorite internet quotes.

"The Internet...it's doesn't make you stupid, It makes your stupidity accessible to others"

"They have the Internet on computers now?!" (Homer Simpson)

On Guilds and Beards

Someone tell me why I should support the Writers Guild strike? Why should anyone care who writes the material to the Colbert Report for instance? I say dump them all. There are countless aspiring writers in this town--scripts and screenplays in hand, praying to get even a toe in the door. And I'm sure many of them are good! And of all the workers in this country, in shit jobs/working conditions with lousy representation, we are supposed to empathize with the mainly rich White males of the WGA? Que? Come on, I saw Conan last nite, face filled with hair spinning his wedding ring for 40seconds on his desk. Now that's quality entertainment. But it does prove he can at least write his own material. Even Leno was decent (though today the WGA isn't laughing). And Letterman, who is also sporting a beard, looks more like a dirty old man then ever.

Panic on the streets of Pasadena

Courtesy Pasadena Weekly

OMG! They snuck it in! Those sneaky Chinese.

The scene--Gorgeous clear morning. New Years Day. Orange Grove Blvd and Del Mar Avenue. Pasadena, Ca.

All the floats for the (119th) Tournament of Roses Parade lined up before midnight (New Years Eve). By far the best place to view the floats up close. Tradition. For the 8am start of the parade, the floats (que over a mile long) meet up with the bands/cheerleaders/horsefolk, entering from the East from Del Mar Avenue. Me...on the corner of Orange Grove + Del Mar. On the streets...dozens of Falun Gong activists (placards, pamphlets, petitions in hand, along with some rather graphic depictions of torture) working the street ...various human rights advocates and anti-war protesters as well. A joyous affair indeed. We had heard about the controversy surrounding the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games float (at a cost of $400,000 or so), and that we were to turn our backs as the float rolled by. So...about 45 minutes into the parade, the rumblings began...the float (which was curiously missing from the lineup the nite before), was snuck in from Del Mar Blvd from the West accompanied by the fuzz. Sneaky sneaky. While some activists attempted to make their way toward the float, they weren't very successful. And while there was brief moments of tension, ultimately, it ended like a bad British drama. The irony of course, the Beijing 2008 float was one of the best of the day--winning the Theme Trophy (this year's parade theme was "Passport to the World's Celebrations"), complete with acrobats, dancers, some incredibly colorful costumes, and fireworks! Celebrate. Good times. Come on. What's not to like?

From yahoo:

The float is sanctioned by the Beijing Olympic Organizing Committee but is sponsored by the Roundtable of Southern California Chinese-American Organizations and Pasadena-based label maker Avery Dennison Corp. It will feature the upcoming Olympics' five official mascots rotating on a base and decorated with a combination of flowers, including carnations and daisy petals.

Other activists at the Rose Parade included KUCINICH supporters with IMPEACH banners, Ron Paul supporters and even RON PAUL 2008 visible across the sky. But my favorite signs came from our Christian fundamentalist friends--their biggest one read, ASK ME WHY YOU DESERVE HELL! Sadly, I didn't get a chance to ask.

Another minor issue--public funding for the floats...no public funds were used for the various City of Los Angeles floats--seems our previous mayor took some heat for using public funds for such events in the past. Our current ubiquitous smiling mayor rode atop the Port of L.A. float along with 4 other floats designed as boats/ships. Now if we can just get him/city council to stop financing large developers with city subsidies, loans and tax rebates.

I wondered to myself...