You think like a girl...

Giuliana DePandi - On-the-town Dater

Aside from all the hot librarian ass I'm knee deep in, one of the perks of being Bookstamper Extraordinare is the nearly unrestricted access to books, cd's, videos, materials, etc. the library system offers. So every new book comes across my desk. Most don't interest me in the least, as I hardly read fiction (although I did pick up Moshin Hamid's Reluctant Fundamentalist this week--just started reading), but for a handful of books that catch my eye (the right one). Yesterday it was E! News Anchor Giuliana DePandi's, Think Like A Guy - How To Get A Guy By Thinking Like One. Someone had requested it from another branch. I've learned one thing and one thing only working at the library--always, for gods sake--always, judge a book by it's cover--it's back cover. Always!

Book Description
Giuliani DePandi has distilled her knowledge as an on-the-town dater in L.A. into this funny but oh-so-practical and effective handbook. DePandi knows what its like out there, and has done extensive field work to learn what turns guys off....and on. Should you...mention your mom on a first date? Cook a guy breakfast after your first sleepover at his place? Tell him how many lovers youve had before he came along? .Leave him long voicemails if you cant reach him on the phone? The resounding answer to all the questions above, according to DePandi, is: NO! You should, in fact, be busy and breezy, offer to pay for dinner, leave short voicemails (and none at all if you dont have anything concrete to say), stay well-dressed and groomed and make your guy feel like hes the first to introduce you to anything kinky in bed. Think Like A Guy isn't The Rules, it's not so much about getting married as making sure rafts of men are always hanging around. Its a hard-headed practical book for women who acknowledge that men and women simply think differently.

From the Back Cover
66 Kick-Ass Tips That Reveal What Goes on in Mr. Right’s Head—And How to Turn that Head Your Way

Giuliana DePandi has made a study of men. She knows what makes them tick. What turns them on. And off. And she’s learned that a sure grasp of how men view women and their behavior is the key to a happy, full and fun dating life. Funny, fast, and full of insight you can use right now, THINK LIKE A GUY acknowledges that men and women simply think differently. Want to know how? Sample five of the sixty-six wise ways to act around men below:

TIP # 6 Don’t Take an Hour to Get Ready
TIP #17 Never, Ever Kiss of the First Date
TIP #18 Words Never to Mention on the First Three Dates (“Soul Mate”, “Destiny”, “My Sister’s Wedding”)
TIP #42 Don’t Try to Break His Bad Habits
TIP #64 Don’t Surprise Him with Short Hair

66 ways to turn that head your way! 66! Sixty-Six! Tip #64: Don't surprise him with short hair. Think like a guy. This list should be just 3 things long. 1. Make sandwich. 2. Don't talk so much. 3. Um...Don't talk so much while wearing a short skirt. Giuliana DePandi is credited as being an on-the-town dater in L.A. Therefore she knows what men want...like Mel Gibson...only she's a she. And being a hot Italiano-Americano probably helps. I do like the way she thinks--accept your man as he is, act all phony and shit. Like the perfect woman. Unfortunately for me, I'm still waiting for any girl to think like my crazy black ass. And I'm not even black. Just not gonna find a girl that's into Geto Boys, Gore Vidal, and Air Supply. Go with me darling, and no late fees. What do you say? Guess I'll keep waiting my for rafts of men, women rather, hanging around...



P.S. I'm still looking for a co-author with a Western sounding name to make a million dollars with. I'll make up a story about a violent militant past. And you provide a Western sounding name for legitimacy. One Million Dollars.