Breaking News: Muttontron arrested!

Goat detained over armed robbery

LAGOS (Reuters) – Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," he said.

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

Yes!

Unreturned library book leads to woman's arrest

INDEPENDENCE, Iowa – An Iowa woman has been arrested because she failed to return a library book.

Thirty-nine-year-old Shelly Koontz was arrested Thursday night on a fifth-degree theft charge. She is accused of keeping "The Freedom Writers Diary," which she checked out from the public library in nearby Jesup in April.

Police say the book — which is about a high school teacher's effort to inspire students to write — is valued at $13.95.

Court records show library employees tried repeatedly to contact Koontz by phone and mail. A police officer even visited her home last September.

Officials at the Buchanan County jail say Koontz was released after posting $250 bond. No telephone listing for Koontz could be found in the Independence area.

The Curious Case of Muttontron!

Newspaper claims suspect transformed into a goat

LAGOS, Nigeria – One of Nigeria's biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.

The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.

The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.

Police in the state couldn't immediately be reached for comment.

Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.

I absolutely love reading the Odd News section @ Yahoo! But this one...well, she's special.

Training Ground Notches, Perfectly Executed Notches and Near Misses (2008 Rewind)

Reflection time. 2008. Another year wasted? Sure. But memorable nonetheless.

The Rundown

Favorite New Band - Glasvegas

Favorite Album - Glasvegas, Glasvegas!

Favorite Song - It's My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry, Glasvegas!

Favorite Pop Song - Single Ladies, Beyonce. Like a cattle call in the club. Thank B!

Gig I Wish I hadn't Missed - Glenn Campbell @ Troubadour

Gig I Wish I had Missed - Some Swedish band @ The Viper Room whose name eludes me!

Favorite Character - T-Pain

Unhealthy Obsessions - Carla Gugino, Claudia Bassols

Favorite Book - A Case of Exploding Mangoes, Mohammed Hanif

Most Underrated - Ron Paul (R-Texas)

Most Overrated/Underrated - Barack Obama

Favorite Film - Let the Right One In

Favorite Documentary Film - Taxi to the Dark Side

Favorite Film about screwed up White people - Rachel Getting Married

Most Hyped Film- Pineapple Express

Dumbest Move - Gambling away my IRA in the stock market.

2nd Dumbest Move - Driving cross-country (L.A. - Miami) when gas was over $4/gal.

Favorite New Town Visited - Blytheville, AR

Proudest Moment - Giving Best-Man Speech

Missed - George Carlin, Studs Terkel, Isaac Hayes

(Dis)missed - Newspapers

Overkill - Vegas

Spectacular - Beijing Olympics Opening/Closing Ceremonies

Most Frustrating/Heart Wrenching - Losing to the Celtics

Newsworthy/Where it went down - Pakistan

Most Embarrassing Moment - Getting caught leaving a Chinatown bathroom--the ladies room with...

Favorite (New) Personal Quote 2008 - Behind every pretty girl is cockblocker!

2008. Adios! Adieu! Donadagohvi! Hagoone'! Sayonara! Auf Wiedersehen! Arrivederci! Hejdå! Sampai Jumpa! Paalam! Zai Jian! Farvel! Namaste! Ayo! Rub Rakha! Adeus! Selamat pergi! Tot ziens! 再见! Yasou! Hwyl fawr! Annyeonghi Kyeseyo! Hyvästi! La revedere! Veloma! Ma'a ssa'lām!

My other car is a minority.

It's late. The year is winding down and I've been watching PBS all night. On next is Rick Steve's Gaza Strip: Through the Back Door travel special. How timely. Sorry Rick, everything I need to know about the Gaza Strip I learn from fair and balanced AP dispatches. Anyhow, back to Senior Steve--seriously, who finds this guy appealing? Let's try again, who under 60/non-old-White-lady finds this guy appealing? No, I've been watching obsessed with this Spain On The Road Again series with Gweneth Paltrow, that Mario Batali guy, some creep food critic/writer and the new love of my life, Spanish actress Claudia Bassols. Move over Carla Gugino! A relatively unknown here in the states, I think the show's producers felt they needed a native to give the show a bit more authenticity, but that's not important right now, what is important is that I quite fancy her. In fact I think she may just be the perfect woman. I think I may just have to marry her. To see here hoarding slices of ruby red jamón from that creep was more amusing than the 6th time I came out of the closet. Hell, I'm even willing to overlook her upcoming romantic comedy with Breakin' extra Jean Claude Van Damme. The premise of the show is simple--the cast travel through Spain eating. The irony of course is that Spanish food is quite bland and isn't really all that good. But everything looks so damned good on the show...whats that you say?! The show is funded by Spain's Ministry of Tourism. Es verdad.

Now that's just S.A.D.

Courtesy Bio-Light

The irony here is that it's really cold and I haven't seen the sun since Friday...not exactly by choice (Oasis gig in Vegas) but that's not important right now. What is important is that I know the hell the song S.A.D. Light by Glasvegas is about. Only after reading the lyrics and a few Google searches of course. It had been driving me to what Esmée Denters titled her record, a crazy place.

Pity thy winter blues. So apparently, there are folks who suffer from something called, Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.), from Wiki:

A mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter repeatedly, year after year. The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up." The condition in the summer is often referred to as Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, and can also include heightened anxiety.

There are many different treatments for classic (winter-based) seasonal affective disorder, including light therapies with bright lights, anti-depression medication, ionized-air administration, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin.

Sounds made up. Just ask Tom Cruise. One "cure" is a S.A.D. light, aka Full Spectrum Lighting and how it works is simple--stare at 10,000 lux light for an hour a day--and you no longer feel the urge to leave Alaska or make friends or do crystal meth or burn down the Hot Topic. Hell, you don't even have to go outside. Smile! Like I've been saying for days, the sun is overrated anyway.

Perhaps I should be a bit more empathetic, not everyone has had the benefit of growing up in a season-less place. Es verdad, pero those people should move, apenas no aquí, por favor.

Winter blues no love for you
Seasons change in a gothic way
10, 000 lux to light us up
In these winter nights if I'm wandering all alone

I'll turn on my S.A.D. light

As I'm staring at Alpha Centauri
All I can see is how it's glow seems so far
How did I get to this point
Of things playing so heavy on my heart
Twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are

I'll turn on my S.A.D. light

See, you do learn something new everyday. Nuclear winters?! Bring it on. Okay, time for bed, the sun's coming up soon.

Sniff...no really, its just something in my eye...

Glasvegas - Daddy's Gone



Say...are these lads foreign? Accent? What accent?

May the absence of daddy continue to inspire many a maladjusted adolescent...and future exotic dancers.

Undead. Undead. Suckers.

Fad: a practice or interest followed for a time with exaggerated zeal.
— Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Bring back the penguins! What happened to the penguins? Do we not care about penguins any longer? What happened to the baby craze? Today, we've gone vampire crazy. The literary world started it. Hollywood should end it. Soon. What say you pirates? Hmm...pregnant penguin vampires...

Oh, and a heads up to insecure dudes...if there's a movie with anyone named Seth--acting, producing, directing, and/or writing involved you will see male full-frontal. Yes. Consider yourself warned.

Early AM Poetry from C.O.M.P.T.O.N

Yes this is verse from a "gangster rap" song. I recall hearing this in the early 90's and thinking...how wonderful.

RBX - Stranded on Death Row (Verse 2)

No prevention from this lynchin of sorts
Your're a victim, from my driveby of thoughts
No extensions, all attempts are to fail
Blinded by the light, it's time you learn braile
From the lunatic, I'm death like arsenic
When I kick a wicked raps, Dr. Dre will hit the scratch
With treachery, my literary form will blast
And totally surpass the norm
Not a storm, plural, make it, many storms
When I'm vexed, I fly leg necks and arms
In this dimension, I'm the presenter
And the inventor, and the tormentor
Deranged, like the Hillside Strangler
MC mangler, tough like Wrangler
I write a rhyme, hard as concrete
Step to the heat and get burned like mesquite!
So what you wanna do?

The narrator RBX, cell block two

Getting caught up in the moment...briefly.

Say, was that you riding a fixie at midnite around Sunset + Hyperion on election nite in skinny jeans, a I ♥ NY tee and sporting a keffiyeh? (You sure as hell weren't wearing that scarf on Sept. 12, 2001!). Complete with a bandana hanging from your back pocket. That was you. You had just left the taco truck with your carne asada con todo. Si Se Puede! The Piolín would be proud. Seriously. Stop. Please. No, seriously. Stop. Come on. I'm pleading here. Riding around in tight black jeans is just plain silly, with no helmet no less. Silly and unsafe. It's so not L.A. And when did not having to kill your legs riding uphill on an old road bike with more than one cog become uncool?!

I don't know what the motivation is. I really don't. As I understand, hipster (I hate that word, like EMO--I don't know what the hell it means. Someone asked me once if I listened to EMO, I replied, you mean like the Geto Boys? That's some EMOtional shit) fashion today is--one part skater/punk, one part Black girl (circa 1988) and one part fag--but you can only get away that shit in the Mission district (SF) or parts of NYC, but L.A.? Come on. My five biggest pet peeves--litterers, parking lot speeders, gasoline spillers @ the pump, people who aren't down with Air Supply and the most egregious--Californians sporting NYC garb. Leave now. Please. No really. Leave. I hate to break this too you, and there's no easy way to say this, so I will just come out and say it. Here goes. People from NYC aren't anymore interesting, creative, brave or real than folks in Chattanooga, TN or Blytheville, AR for that matter, but possibly more so than people in Orange County. Hehe.

I digress, I've spent the last few days here in the Bay trying to make sense of it all. San Francisco values seated deep. Quick recap--hip Lesbians, twitching dealers, hitchhikers, belligerence, parking nightmares, 120sq ft. studio apts, musicians, junkie clichés, lines and lines, good times. Pity thy principles. Looks like I picked a bad week to...what's that? You're a designer/writer/musician/dj/hairdresser/model? Wow. I'm sorry, but I'm interested in meeting a nice admin assistant who works in the billing department of a mid-size HMO.

So, nearly two weeks have passed since the election...a clearer mind and a chance to reflect as I await Change.

Election day...surprisingly, no line and no waiting. Walked right in to my polling location (St.Something-or-other Catholic Church). Ink-a-dot pen in hand, I did a quick once over of the names for Supreme Leader. First name--the Unreasonable Man himself, Ralph Nader, Cynthia McKinney (Green Party), McCain/Palin, that Hussein fellow, Alan Keyes (yes that Alan effin' Keyes--the man who once had his own show on MSNBC of all places--post 9/11 of course, what a difference 6 years makes), and Bob Barr (Republican turned Libertarian candidate). So there I was voting in this historic election and I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to vote for the not-exactly-Black guy, even though I wanted him to win. I mean I like the guy. I really do. Truth be told, on more than one occasion I found myself defending BHO from some of the most asinine and downright sinister smears but on that morning I just couldn't bring myself to vote for the man. Plus, living here in CA, it really didn't matter much in the way of electoral votes now did it? No regrets.

But election night was an entirely different kind of flying--altogether. After watching Sydney McCain give his concession speech--gracious, humble, sincere--where was this McCain during the campaign I thought as I heading out. Ended up at a $9 cup o'chai tea cafe in L.A.'s lastest bastard child of gentrification--Echo Park, with a friend as CNN replayed parts of the Pres-Elect's speech on the flatscreen, when I heard some kind of ruckus outside the place. Finished my tangy tea and strawberry tart, went outside and noticed about 10-12 people on the street corner celebrating--a few with Obama t-shirts and placards. We stood watching for a few minutes before crossing the street and were warmly embraced with open arms and high-fives as triumphant tunes blasted out from the gelato place's tired speakers--everything from We Are The Champions and Eye of the Tiger to America, Fuck Yea! It was easy to get caught up in the moment. It seemed spontaneous, real, and genuine. In less than 30 minutes that small crowd had swelled to dozens and we could see another large crowd gathering on the corner down the street. A colored boy even tagged Yes We Did! on the utility box in front of me and for those brief moments, all I could do was smile my cynical ass silly. After about an hour the novelty had worn thin and it was time to go as a kind of immediate morning after effect kicked in.

And as the pieces of our new Pres-Elect's cabinet and policy making apparatus come together, the cynic has reemerged with a vengeance. Real change will probably have to wait a while longer. Let us pray.

The passing of a great American progressive

From The Guardian:

Studs Terkel, the Pulitzer prize-winning author, broadcaster and master chronicler of American life in the 20th century, died last night. He was 96.

Celebrated for his streetwise portrayals of the American working class, Terkel was best known for letting the common people he called "the uncelebrated" tell their stories in books like Working and The Good War.

To generations of radio listeners he was also the voice of The Studs Terkel Show, which ran for 43 years and was widely syndicated across the US.

More on Studs @DemocracyNow!

Studs Terkel worked as an activist, a civil servant, a labor organizer, an ad writer, a television actor, and a radio DJ, among many other occupations. But since the 1960s, he was particularly well-known as a world-class interviewer, a writer and radio personality who drew celebrities and, far more often, average citizens into sharing their oral histories.

For 45 years, Studs Terkel spent an hour each weekday on his nationally syndicated radio show, conversing with famous and not-so-famous guests and with a loyal audience of Chicago listeners.

Late nite music to sit down to...

Tim Booth works the crowd @ the El Rey last nite.

First show in ages where I actually stayed for its entirety. Simply amazing. Fans rushing the stage at a James show?! Yes but aren't they like old now? Self control has just expired--Tim brought it out in us ;) Stand out tracks--Say Something, Say, Sit Down, Top Of The World and Laid. Say, I hear Tim lives in L.A. now...I should go get him a new hat. Here is an older live clip featuring Tim in a weird skullcap/beenie. Cheers!


Laid


Say Something



Tim Booth sans curls 2008

You ever seen these two in the same place? Exactly. Now if you could get Ben Kingsley to dance like Michael Stipe, Tim Booth would be out of a job.

Ka'dairy.

What did I say? What did I say? For the love of Intelligent Designer, never trust anyone named Asif--under any circumstance. Here is the playboy makin' a play for my special lady friend, Sandra. Yes, I call her Sandra now.

And a happy Eid to you too.

Late nite music that bobs and flaps...

My second favorite Scorpio.


OMD - Pandora's Box

Late nite music from the land of fire and ice.

Gus Gus circa 1997 - Believe (Live)


Fashion. Art. Beats. 10 years ahead of it's time. Brilliant.

Has it been over ten years?! Geez, I'm gettin' old. Help the aged. One of the best live shows I've ever seen. Polydistortion tour 1997 @ the Roxy, Sunset Blvd. Where were you?