Worlds Greatest Book (Pamphlet) Title. (Part Deux)

Move over San Jose: City With A Past or Kind of Kabab! I just came across this, via recent GNN blog entry by one Harold H. Thompson, written from inside a Tennessee prison--while serving life-plus sentence, on the virtue of shutting the fu*k up.

More Pointless Research

Top 3 recent (utterly vacuous) research "findings". Who funds this stuff? Give me the money. I could totally take a research grant to prove the obvious. But I wouldn't, I would do serious research...I'd figure out why ghetto-ass people are always on the phone or always in a rush or why they speed in parking lots or why their stories ("drama") always involve some petty cash dispute or "someone getting fu*#ed up." That fool got fu*ked up! We were gonna fu*k some fool up last night! Or why fratboy stories are all the same--always about being wasted someplace. Dude we were so wasted! Dude, we were partying in Cabo over the break, we were so fu*ked up! We totally trashed the motel room! Or worse--why the Seinfeld-like yuppie stories ("drama") always involve getting bad service someplace. Complete with a (peculiarly) heightened sense of victimization. The girl who did my nails was totally inept. Oh my God, the hostess at the restaurant was such a bitch. The Soup Nazi fu*ked me! Then there's real drama in the world. But I digress, some researchers at some institute/university someplace receive grants to prove the obvious (or is that disprove the unobvious?).

Like this one from the good people at Aberdeen, who published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition recently (via BBC):

People often choose partners with similar body fatness to their own, according to new research.

The Aberdeen study involving 42 couples said people often married within their own social class as well as taking looks, height and race into account.

However, they have now found those with about the same amount of fat are likely to be attracted to each other.

Or this one about how price does not deter smoking:

Raising the price of cigarettes does not appear to deter current smokers from lighting up, research suggests.

"People who are still smoking are probably selectively those who are more addicted, so they are less likely to quit smoking if the price of their habit increases," Dr. Peter Franks, of University of California-Davis in Sacramento, told Reuters Health.

And finally this:

Girly Men are perfect partners, say Women

Women searching for the perfect partner avoid macho men in favour of feminine-looking types whom they see as more committed and better parents, research has found.

Men with masculine features, such as a square jaw, larger nose or smaller eyes were perceived to be less faithful, more detached and worse fathers. Those with fuller lips and wide eyes were seen as being more caring, nurturing and less likely to stray.

Psychologists from Durham and St Andrews Universities asked more than 400 people to look at pictures of male faces that were digitally altered to look more masculine or feminine. They were then asked to predict personality traits, such as sexual behaviour and parenting skills, based on the images.

The results, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, revealed that as well as preferring more feminine faces, participants chose healthier ones - such as those with better complexions - as more representative of positive traits, while older faces were preferred over younger ones.

And they could answer some questions when it comes to celebrity pairings. The jazz singer Michael Buble's round cheeks and eyes may indicate that his girlfriend, the Devil Wears Prada actress Emily Blunt, is looking to settle down. The actress Gwyneth Paltrow's choice of the scruffy Coldplay singer Chris Martin could be explained by his big blue eyes and bee-stung lips.

The chef Jamie Oliver's button nose and baby face may show that his wife, Jools, was spot on when she chose to start a family with him - not only does he seem a model father but he has also taken charge of the eating habits of others' children as well.

The lead author, Dr Lynda Boothroyd, a Durham University psychology lecturer, said: "This research shows a high amount of agreement between women about what they see, personality wise, when asked to 'judge a book by its cover'.

Let us not rush to discount the relevant and potentially life saving research being conducted by serious professionals today however. Recently, researchers discovered:

Exercise unleashes a bounce bras can't handle
Breasts fly up and down a distance of up to 8 inches, study says

Whether women are said to be flat-chested or big-busted, ordinary bras fall short when it comes to supporting bouncing breasts, a new study claims.

And during exercise, women's breasts bounce more than previously estimated, moving a vertical distance of up to around eight inches compared with a past maximum measurement of six inches.

The bouncing, in some cases with breasts weighing 20 pounds or more, can prove painful and damaging to the limited natural support system.While brassieres have evolved throughout history from body-binding corsets to cleavage-enhancing "miracle" bras, only recently have researchers injected a dose of science into the design of undergarments that go beyond conferring a more "perky" look, the researcher says.

"It is only recently that bra design has turned to science," said study author Joanna Scurr, a biomechanics professor at the University of Portsmouth in England. "There was no research. It’s like designing a car or kitchen equipment without first thinking 'what is the purpose of this?'"

Scurr will present her research this week at an annual meeting for the British Association of Sport and Exercise Sciences in Bath.

Breast biomechanics
Scurr recruited 70 women, including students and faculty from the University of Portsmouth, with bra sizes ranging from A-cup to extra-large (DD, E, FF, G, H, HH, J and JJ were included).

Each woman walked, jogged and ran while wearing different bra types. During the exercise, Scurr took biomechanical measurements, including the amount of breast movement in three directions: up-and-down, side-to-side and in-and-out.

During walking exercise, the women's breasts moved relatively the same amount in all directions. But when participants sped up to a jog or run, their breasts moved proportionally more in some directions than others: More than 50 percent of the total movement was in the up-down direction, 22 percent side-to-side and 27 percent in-and-out.

Indeed these are exciting times in the field of Breast Biomechanics.

Special Comment

A final thought. In what I like to call my--Who's Looking Out For You segment.

Parking lot speeders--worst bunch of assholes on the planet. Really there is no one worse. Even terrorists are principled. Parking lot speeders have no redeeming qualities.

Good night and good day.