Late nite music with slaves...

Wonder Showzen - Thank You Slaves



Well it's about time someone offered a musical tribute slave labor.

On Life's Lessons

What I learned in the past 48hrs:

• Never Nair your backside (hair tends to be uncomfortably prickly as it grows back).
• North Hollywood should now be referred to simply as NOHO. Fo Sho.
  
• Never go to Vegas with a borderline anorexic girl who dresses like a goth whore. Trust me, you don't need the attention.
• Brian Molko is pretty...like a girl.
  
• Never play roulette with a shaking, senile, chain-smoking old man in the middle of the night at a third rate casino designed like a castle. He will distract you.
  
• One day in Vegas = 6 days in the real world.
• Road rage is real.
  
• Convincing yourself the lunch buffet at Whiskey Petes is good, then proceeding to play 2cent slots is a good indicator of a bad Vegas trip.
  
• Avoid taco places that use only the word meat on their menu without specifying what kind of meat it actually is. And taco burgers aren't really burgers.
  
• Bowling alley clerks are A-holes.
• Bikers scare me.
• So What is a sorry slogan to live your life by.
• People really are friendly in San Francisco.
• You just can't find a parking spot in the City. Not even at 1am.
  
• The Fillmore is a great venue for a gig.
  
• Jarvis Cocker is one charming c*!t.
• Never buy a concert ticket from the homeless.
• You can bribe pretty much any club bouncer/security.
• Freeways/Bridges collapse easily in the Bay.
  
• The best South Asian food can be found in the South/East Bay.
  
• The new Nissan Maxima is one comfortable car homey...that gets terrible gas mileage and has the lousiest turning radius.
• Sleep is good.

Late nite music...from a simpler era...

When jerry-curled mohawks ruled...ok, so jerry-curled mohawks never ruled, but this song does. Fo sho.

Stevie B - I Wanna Be The One



What the hell was/is Stevie B? Filipino? Puerto Rican? Brasilian? Belizeano? Black?! Whatever mixed bag of ethnic nuts he is, I love him. Long Live Stevie B.

Somos Pobres Otra Vez. (Proposed 2007-2008 City of L.A. Budget)

From The City Librarian's Office (Fontayne Holmes) April 20th, 2007--All Staff:

Today, the Mayor released his proposed budget for fiscal year 2007-08. If you read the newspaper, listened to the radio or watched the television coverage, you already know that this will be a difficult fiscal year for the City of Los Angeles.

With less projected revenues and a commitment to decrease the City's structural budget deficit each year, the Mayor's budget includes reductions in most city departments.

The mayor's proposed budget provides funds for the library that will:

• Sustain the increase in hours at 24 community branches to meet the system-wide standard of six days, 52 hours per week--this includes 53 FTE positions to support the increased hours. ($2,528,994).
• Regularize 7 positions critical to maintaining the library's essential technology infrastructure. ($594,188).
• Purchase furniture, equipment and books for the new, larger Exposition Park-Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune Regional Branch. ($766,102).

The Budget represents a small overall Library Department reduction of 0.5% from this year's budget. But it also reduces the Library's materials budget from $11,429,111 to $8,830,111.

The proposed budget now goes to the City Council for its review. During this process I will request the restoration of our materials budget funds.

I will update you as I receive information.

Sincerely,

Fontayne

So...last year, our ubiquitous smiling Mayor and City Council decided that it would be a good idea to keep all branch libraries in the city open longer--an extra 12hrs a week longer. A couple months back I broke down the entire fiscal year budget for 2006-2007....there was an allocation for 53 FTE (Full Time Employees) in that budget and here it is again--I don't understand. We've yet to see 53 new hires in the library department, given the terrible staff shortages...

I haven't had a chance to review the Mayors proposed budget yet and it must get City Council approval before the actual budget is released/printed. But it seems to be another example of short-term planning, or politicizing. Opening the branch libraries (all 64) longer made for good PR but now comes the crunch--as usual.

A reduction of the Library materials budget (Books! Stamps!) from $11,429,111 to $8,830,111

For the mathematically dis-inclined, that's $2,599,000 less than the previous year. I requested a new set of stamps over a year ago--they still haven't arrived/approved. Bookstampers get no love from the city. Luckily for us at our affluent hidden branch, our Friends of The Library organization purchases most of our "luxury" materials, so that we don't have to rely on the city...

I guess when it's the only "socialist" institution in the country, you can't complain too much. Yes. But then again L.A Police Department burns over a billion (yes 1Bn) year after year...and I still see people using the Club on their steering wheels. I mean really, who the hell still uses The Club anymore?

You think like a girl...

Giuliana DePandi - On-the-town Dater

Aside from all the hot librarian ass I'm knee deep in, one of the perks of being Bookstamper Extraordinare is the nearly unrestricted access to books, cd's, videos, materials, etc. the library system offers. So every new book comes across my desk. Most don't interest me in the least, as I hardly read fiction (although I did pick up Moshin Hamid's Reluctant Fundamentalist this week--just started reading), but for a handful of books that catch my eye (the right one). Yesterday it was E! News Anchor Giuliana DePandi's, Think Like A Guy - How To Get A Guy By Thinking Like One. Someone had requested it from another branch. I've learned one thing and one thing only working at the library--always, for gods sake--always, judge a book by it's cover--it's back cover. Always!

Book Description
Giuliani DePandi has distilled her knowledge as an on-the-town dater in L.A. into this funny but oh-so-practical and effective handbook. DePandi knows what its like out there, and has done extensive field work to learn what turns guys off....and on. Should you...mention your mom on a first date? Cook a guy breakfast after your first sleepover at his place? Tell him how many lovers youve had before he came along? .Leave him long voicemails if you cant reach him on the phone? The resounding answer to all the questions above, according to DePandi, is: NO! You should, in fact, be busy and breezy, offer to pay for dinner, leave short voicemails (and none at all if you dont have anything concrete to say), stay well-dressed and groomed and make your guy feel like hes the first to introduce you to anything kinky in bed. Think Like A Guy isn't The Rules, it's not so much about getting married as making sure rafts of men are always hanging around. Its a hard-headed practical book for women who acknowledge that men and women simply think differently.

From the Back Cover
66 Kick-Ass Tips That Reveal What Goes on in Mr. Right’s Head—And How to Turn that Head Your Way

Giuliana DePandi has made a study of men. She knows what makes them tick. What turns them on. And off. And she’s learned that a sure grasp of how men view women and their behavior is the key to a happy, full and fun dating life. Funny, fast, and full of insight you can use right now, THINK LIKE A GUY acknowledges that men and women simply think differently. Want to know how? Sample five of the sixty-six wise ways to act around men below:

TIP # 6 Don’t Take an Hour to Get Ready
TIP #17 Never, Ever Kiss of the First Date
TIP #18 Words Never to Mention on the First Three Dates (“Soul Mate”, “Destiny”, “My Sister’s Wedding”)
TIP #42 Don’t Try to Break His Bad Habits
TIP #64 Don’t Surprise Him with Short Hair

66 ways to turn that head your way! 66! Sixty-Six! Tip #64: Don't surprise him with short hair. Think like a guy. This list should be just 3 things long. 1. Make sandwich. 2. Don't talk so much. 3. Um...Don't talk so much while wearing a short skirt. Giuliana DePandi is credited as being an on-the-town dater in L.A. Therefore she knows what men want...like Mel Gibson...only she's a she. And being a hot Italiano-Americano probably helps. I do like the way she thinks--accept your man as he is, act all phony and shit. Like the perfect woman. Unfortunately for me, I'm still waiting for any girl to think like my crazy black ass. And I'm not even black. Just not gonna find a girl that's into Geto Boys, Gore Vidal, and Air Supply. Go with me darling, and no late fees. What do you say? Guess I'll keep waiting my for rafts of men, women rather, hanging around...



P.S. I'm still looking for a co-author with a Western sounding name to make a million dollars with. I'll make up a story about a violent militant past. And you provide a Western sounding name for legitimacy. One Million Dollars.

When is this going to end?

It's now past 1AM and I'm watching End Of The Century - The Story Of The Ramones...I wish it would end. Soon. Alas, arguing over music is a miserable exercise in futility at this point, but I'm convinced now the Ramones' are given way too much credit and their influence exaggerated. "The Ramones saved rock music" someone quipped. Sure. The most intriguing part of their careers was when Johnny stole Joey's girlfriend. And Joey never got over it. In the words of the lamentable Ms. Malkin, boo-frickin' hoo.

I wouldn't deny that a case can be made that they they were influential..but that they supposedly influenced everyone under the sun [in the past 30 years] is stretching it a bit. One could make a similar case for the Stooges or Kraftwerk for that matter--and when the hell will they be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Rock centric bastards! And we really don't know/prove that without the Ramones, their wouldn't have been the Sex Pistols/Stranglers/Damned/Clash, etc. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that they were never commercially successful while recording the great tunes. Just an odd group of guys--don't know how many groupies flocked to Joey's dressing room after a gig. Then we have Johnny Ramone--lifelong Republican; "God bless George Bush & God Bless America" he proclaims at the Rock 'n Roll hall of fame induction ceremony. Hell, that's all he said! By all accounts he was a control freak a-hole. Onto my favorite Ramone--Dee Dee, who overdosed on heroin in Los Angeles two months after their induction. He even recorded a rap/hip-hop record after leaving the group. I totally have to find it. Now he was completely nuts--I love that guy.

I saw The Filth And The Fury, a Sex Pistols doc a couple months back...the difference between the two docs is that their seemed to be a lot less contextualizing in the Ramones doc as it focused more on the various members' personalities/stories which were pretty uninteresting, less on the music or the zeitgeist in the which their music grew out of. The Filth And The Fury is just a much better film. And I don't even care much for the Pistols, but their story was really fascinating. It was the Pistols who created (although one could argue the nihilistic punk image/ethic. Not the Ramones. The Ramones just played hard/fast with simplistic tunes/songs. I guess like all art/music scenes, being "first" is all that matters.

Let me recap for you...the story of the Ramones: Group of musically inept outcasts/misfits/freaks join together and play wretched little club in nyc...they play hard/fast and sing simple pop tunes...supposedly influence some kids across the pond in Britian (which was not so great in the early/mid-70's)...they (naturally) have some internal differences...argue...some members leave/forced out and are replaced...they contine making music and tour. The 80's are a blur. The 90's are a blur...record "last" record called Adios Amigos...get some airplay between Sponge and the Screeming Trees...Joey Ramone dies...few months later they are inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001...Dee Dee and Johnny also die. The End.

That pretty much sums up the Ramones' career. Oh, and Phil Spector really was/is nuts.

Joe Stummer of the Clash is interviewed in the film, and is incredibly cordial while praising the Ramones for teaching him about playing fast/hard! 1-2-3-4! Let's face it, the Clash's Career Opportunities (1977) is better than anything the Ramones ever produced. By 1982 The Clash were selling out stadiums all over the world, while the Ramones were still playing to 34 people in New Jersey.

Trash.

Miranda Lee Richards @ Hotel Cafe, Hollywood 4/20/07

I may very well be the only person the planet to own a Miranda Lee Richards t-shirt. Wore it proudly today. So there were easily over 120 people present, but I think a total of 8 of us at the Hotel Cafe last nite actually came to see her. Her voice is beautiful. She's beautiful. I love this girl! I may just propose to her at the next gig. She complained about the sound for the first couple songs...then complained that peeps were talking too loud disrupting her. Had the chattering crowd exit in to the other rooms/outside. Reminded me of a Hope Sandoval (Mazzy Star) gig, where the lovely Hope berated the crowd for cheering. Sweet memories. I like the venue, Hotel Cafe (Now With Air Conditioning!)...very laid back. Very Hollywood but not really. If that makes sense. Intimate/personal, acoustic music joint with appetizers! I felt really out of place trying to take a pics/video. I nervously snapped a couple photos...with the flash on...damn new digi cam. Got to speak to her afterwards. Sparks flew. Perhaps only in my mind...but I did feel like Bobby Brady...fireworks.

Later that nite...a different part of town, a different kind of freak...Suede's Trash empties dance floor. Shame. Shame! "Old" people unite/take to the floor. Sing our hearts out.

Late nite music with wacky Iranians

Abjeez - Eddeaa

I love these wacky Iranian girls.

Deliver us from IE

Inland Empire Diary. The IE.

Took a trip to the IE last nite. One has to prepare herself mentally before venturing out into the IE.

The Inland Empire. 60 miles East of Los Angeles between the coastal regions of the Los Angels/Orange County and Palm Springs. The 909. Located in the largest county in the sate--San Bernardino. Over 3 million people live in the IE today. It is one of the major agriculture centers of the sate. The region has grown (in the past decade) faster than the local governments ability to provide general/public services. News coverage of the IE is abysmal. The L.A. Times Inland Empire edition has less than 10 full-time reporters to cover 3 million people! Most of the regions inhabitants are recent transplants (Coastal Equity Refugees) from the Los Angeles area. Another issue of course is the rise in crime/gangs. Not many new gangs, rather cliques from larger L.A. gangs have branched out into the area.

Inland Empire contains over 50 cities, including Riverside, San Bernardino, Ontario and Temecula's Wine Country to the south. The Inland Empire also includes the San Bernardino Mountains to the north including Big Bear and Lake Arrowhead.

1st. stop: Moreno Valley (East on th 60 Fwy past Riverside...past civilization). Took 1hr and a half to arrive. Mormon weddings are quaint affairs. Pretty girls & no booze. What kinda Mexican wedding has no booze? Oh yea, a Mormon Mexican one. Mormon girls are hot. God has strange ways punishing men in Utah. Force them to marry early. Utah coincidentally leads the country in bankruptcies. Reasons for this vary but it may have something to do with the fact that Mormons pay 10% of their gross income to the church. Mormons are encouraged to marry early and have large families. And there is pressure on believers to be financially successful. Weddings in the chapel are earned. Weddings in the Temple are earned even more. It was a mixed marriage--Mexican/gringo. Congrats and good luck!

2nd. stop: 1230am. Morongo Resort & Casino, Cabazon, Ca. Located next door to Hadleys (off hwy stop famous for its date shakes, I'm sure the casino has been good for business). Also, a new outlet mall has been built next to the casino as well. "Owned" by the Morongo Band of Mission Indians, who raised $250 million to build the casino. The Morongo's operate one of the largest tribal gaming facilities in America. Wonder how they raised that kind of money--and who were they're lenders...hmm...good old tribal sovereignty. Which is only as sovereign as Congress allows.

On Tribal Sovereignty from a recent FAIR Coalition policy piece:

Congress should be specifically informed that the federal government has long-imposed limitations on tribal powers. According to the respected Indian law treatise by Felix Cohen (Section 4.02, 2005 edition), tribal power must adhere to three basic principles:

• Tribes possess, in the first instance, all the inherent powers of an sovereign state, however;
• Tribes within the United States are subject to Congress and may not exercise external powers of sovereignty such as the power to enter into treaties with foreign nations; and
• Tribal powers can be restricted by treaties and by express federal legislation.

Thus, treaties and statutes have limited tribal sovereignty in areas such as:
• Exercising control over lands ceded to the federal government
• Federal supervision of tribes
• Conveyance of tribal property without federal approval
• Allotment of tribal lands to individual Indians
• Subjecting tribes to varying degrees of state authority
• Federal criminal jurisdiction over Indians
• Subjecting tribal authority to individual civil rights
• Limitations on tribal adjudicative powers
• The power of a tribe to exercise jurisdiction over non-Indians within a tribal reservation

Tribal sovereignty is likewise cabined by the principle that the United States has the exclusive power to extinguish Indian title to land.8 In other words, “Congress may effect an act of eminent domain, taking tribal land.”.

Through rights of way statutes, Congress has authorized rights of way across tribal lands for railroads, telegraph and telephone lines, oil and gas pipelines, and highways.

Basically, what this says is that Congressional decree trumps any claim/right made by the various tribes/nations in the country.

But what about the casino itself you ask? We made it from the parking lot to the casino without getting stabbed, so that's was a plus. Morongo is a casino/hotel on native land which means...very few regulations. Does California even have a gaming regulatory commission? We must right? The California Gambling Control Commission (peculiar name--is it an anti-gaming commission?!), whose mission/vision statement declare:

The California Gambling Control Commission protects the public by fostering the integrity of gaming through setting policies, promulgating regulations, licensing, and monitoring compliance; and by implementing and administering the Gambling Control Act and the Tribal-StateGaming Compacts.

To foster the integrity of gaming in California.

There is no integrity at Morongo casino. The Commission negotiate Compacts with the various tribes--a kind of MOU that attempts to set standards/regulatory controls on gaming operations in the tribal areas. For example, 18 year olds can legally gamble on tribal land. Only thing is, there is no one there that actually cards young people, so you sit next to 15 year olds playing video roulette.

The sights: A Check Cash joint. A mall like food court. A gift shop with all sorts of Chinese made Native gifts/trinkets/artwork/clothing. Thousands of the most vibrant (and by vibrant I mean ghetto/miserable/wretched) people under one roof. Get down tonight. I kid. The gaming area is massive. Every single slot machine and card table is occupied. Absolutely mind blowing. People waiting in line for a computer slot machine. Vegas on New Years doesn't even get this busy. There is even a line for the bar! Two dance clubs. Ladies get in free of course. Ironically, the table minimum limits are not low! And these people don't look like the high roller types to these judgmental eyes. Does anyone actually win here? This would have been my 3rd visit....last time it was the bizarre video roulette machine that took nearly my entire humble library paycheck...Costs 4.00 service charge for withdraw cash from the casino ATM. I did, but some cosmic force wouldn't allow me to gamble any of it.

Among the missing: Actual native people! I looked. Couldn't find a single dealer named Lucky Spirit! Very few White people. Where were all the natives I thought.

Left the place after a slice of cheesecake from the cafe. Amazing.

3rd stop: 230am: Pomona (Getting back towards civilization!). Spent about an hour near my old alma mater...good times.

4th stop: Home.

Late nite music with Bjork

Bjork - All is Full of Love

Late nite music...with Swedes..

God I hate this band, but this tune--she's been stuck in my head all week. It's played at the club every week. The guy's voice is pristinely awful. As is the rest of their music. The kids seem to like it though. Gets them moving...

Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks


So after ABBA we had, Europe (Carrie!), Roxette, Ace of Base, Robyn, The Cardigans, more recently The Sounds (whose lead singer's uncanny physical resemblance to Ozzy frightens me), International Noise Conspiracy, and now these guys. Stockholm--the fresh maker.

G-Unit Thrillers

Last year it was Snoop Dogg's Love Don't Live Here Anymore, today I receive two new G-Unit books on my desk--DEATH BEFORE DiSHONOR Love is a Killer (one of its main characters is named Sunni--no it isn't based in the NWFP! Pasthunwali and the G Lifestyle aren't as dissimilar when you think about it) and BABY BROTHER On These Streets, No One Can Protect You (again, not based in the mean streets of Waziristan!). 50 Cent is cited as co-author with Noire & Nikki Turner respectively. Surprisingly both books were on reserve for patrons in other branches. In fact there were several requests for the two books.

From the publisher (MTV Books):

Introducing G-Unit Books from 50 Cent--a hot new series of hip-hop novellas that dare to tell the truth about The Life. The lovers, the haters, the guns, the money, the highs, the lows: The Street. for real.

Excerpt from DEATH BEFORE DiSHONOR:

"Damn, Tiffany. Don't come up in here and start with that same ole shit," Lee said, putting his hand up in ol' girl's face as if she wasn't shit. "Save it," he said, and then took a sip of his drink, pointing out his pinky finger as if he was sipping tea.

"Muthafucka." Tiffany pushed his hand from in front of her face. "This is how you gon' try to play me in front of them bitches? You gon' spare their feelings when I'm the one that's always there for you? You know these washed-out hos don't me you no good."

"And you do? You mean me some good by nagging the fuck out of me?" He dug down in his pocket and pulled out a two-inch stack of money. He handed her a couple of hundred-dollar bills and then looked over her shoulder. "Take this. Who you here with? Go buy you and your girls something to drink, something to put in your goddamn mouth, that way you won't have to come up over here ruinnin' it."

I think these books would have worked better if they had been called G-Unitarian Mysteries. Might have had a more universal appeal. Now that would've been an interesting angle.

You know I've been meaning to write something serious for some time now. I really think I could be a NYT Bestseller. Been thinking about what to write about...maybe cash in on the post 9-11 fear/hate mongering. I even have a great title prepared: Now They Call Me Infidel--Why I Renounced Jihad for America, Israel, and the War on Terror. What do you think? Probably get a couple primetime gigs on O'Reilly and some glowing reviews/support from the freedom is not free crowd. Ooh, I even have a great photo I could use for the cover--a 3/4 shot of me looking oh-so-determined in front of Old Glory. Might just work...shit...just been informed that title is already taken...never fear, I've got a backup...I'll just write a selective/inventive history of the Middle East, and argue against teaching science to foreign students. Something like this...

With the infiltration of radical extremists in our universities, it is foolish to allow Muslims to take any type of science courses, especially any of them that deal with chemistry or nuclear physics. We are actually supplying them with the knowledge for destroying a democratic society without really trying. We make it so easy!

It's Because I Hate isn't it? So I'm going to need a co-author...preferably someone with a Western sounding name, just to give it legitimacy...any takers? Given my background and you're Western sounding name, we could make one-million dollars. Think about it. One Million Dollars. Now that would be gangsta...

And another thing Vonnegut!

Kurt Vonnegut. Dead at 84.

From AP:

Vonnegut once said that of all the ways to die, he'd prefer to go out in an airplane crash on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro. He often joked about the difficulties of old age.

"When Hemingway killed himself he put a period at the end of his life; old age is more like a semicolon," Vonnegut told The Associated Press in 2005.

"My father, like Hemingway, was a gun nut and was very unhappy late in life. But he was proud of not committing suicide. And I'll do the same, so as not to set a bad example for my children."

Now that's what I call a trailer...

So, I just spent the last hour and half of my life watching Black Xmas (that's short for Christmas for you secular humanist types--library loan), the god awful, all-white-girl 2006 remake. So there's a woman in the film looking for her half-sister, Claire, the enitre movie. You see she came to pick up Claire...she needed to know where Claire was. She wanted to make sure she was alive, before leaving the house. Funny thing, I still don't know who Claire is! Hell, I can't remember what any of the other girls in the film names were--uninteresting/interchangeable and one hack put it. There isn't even a bonafide heroine one could cheer for. Some blondy survives. All I know is that the cute brunette (who played the cheerleader in Grindhouse's Deathproof) was killed. And that made me sad. The killer(s), Bobby (or was it Billy?) and his freakishly masculine daughter/sister escape from their respective sanitariums and return to their childhood homes on xmas eve to kill all the inhabitants--the home has since become a sorority house. How they got home is beyond me...Billy kills the Black security guard and Santa Claus at the sanitarium and manages to find his way home. He was locked up by his disturbed mother (who killed Billy's father when Billy was only 5) in the attic. Billy never left the house until Christmas even 1991 (he would have been 21 at the time) after killing his mother and step-father and attempting to kill his beastly sister/daughter. He left in handcuffs, after the police arrived. When/where did he learn to drive?! How did he get home?! Reminds me of when Michael Myers drove across country to find his sister..Halloween part 5 or 6 I think...can't remember. First, when did he learn to drive, second, how many times did he fill up gas on the way? I mean really. He had to get out of his car, take the gas cap off, possibly go inside to pay, then stand there filling gas like an asshole in his sanitarium dress.

As a horror film junkie, I must say this is by far one of the worst films of the genre in years. Makes, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and Urban Legend 2 seem like classics. Hell, Basket Case 2 was a classic! In the end, one girl (can't remember the name) survives along with the woman looking for Claire. They show up, bruised/broken at the hospital where both Bobby and his daughter/sister lie in body bags in the autopsy room. Only the disturbed siblings didn't die the in the fire (flame on), they were fine it turns out. The chase resumed. The survivor ultimately throws Billy down the stairs and he is impaled on a...you guessed it...a Christmas tree! His sister/daughter/monster is defibrillatored to death. Terrible ending. There are three alt endings which are better than the one used.

All this leads me to back to the original Black Christams (1974), which all but created the horror/slasher genre. The film was impossible to find for years, unless you found a old VHS copy someplace and was never transferred to DVD until recently. Heck it's still hard to find the DVD. A true classic in every sense.

Black Christmas (1974):

Late nite music...

Another Modern Rock classic...you've never heard...

Wire Train - I'll Do You

Golden silence?

Sarah Miller in an LA Times OpEd piece today:

Sometime last week, I sat in a cubicle, in a lovely library in one of Los Angeles' leafier suburbs, writing. Pardon me, I should say that I was trying to write, because close by, a girl in a Hollister LOVE sweatshirt shrieked into a pink Razr: "I'll call you later. Look, I swear I will call you in like, one second!" Another girl, also in a Hollister sweatshirt, chatted animatedly to her friend: "So, I talked to my cousin Nicky, and you have to listen to this. Shut up! Guess who he has a crush on! Shut up! Guess!" She named the person. Her friend smacked the table in disbelief. "Shut up!" "Excuse me," I said, turning around, smiling what was admittedly not a particularly nice smile, "Do you guys think you could be quiet?" Let's just say that no one blushed.

These days, libraries sound a lot less like libraries and a lot more like the line for the funnel cake booth at a county fair. Teenagers are the most egregious offenders, but they are not, sadly, alone. In this same library, two soccer moms discussed their respective trips to Hawaii in voices at least as loud as they'd have used at each other's kitchen tables, which is where — pity the fiery pits of hell were not available — their rendezvous should have taken place. A young man in Diesel jeans obsessively checked his voice mail on speakerphone. A geezer in Bermuda shorts with East Coast lockjaw stood in the travel guidebook section, bellowing into a phone: "Should I get the one for Ireland, or just Dublin? Is the France one too outdated? Remember, we don't want to carry too much. France. Yes, we're going to France. I told you that. I did. Hello? Hello? God, I hate Bluetooth.

...libraries are more vibrant these days, and busier, Persic says, and I applaud this. But just because libraries serve a broader function than they once did shouldn't mean that people lose all respect for what they began as: a place where silence is, if not always pristine, actively sought.

In a conversation discussing the tension between the library of yore and the library of now, Fjeldsted points out to me that libraries are "less elitist" than they were when I was young. Does this mean libraries used to be full of rich, smart, quiet people, but now they're full of poor, dumb, loud ones? Call me a snob, call me old-fashioned, but I think there should be one institution where, on entering, people are forced — horror of horrors — to be quiet. For once."

I'll let Sarah Miller in on LAPL policy secret...technically, we, the esteemed library staff, are not allowed to tell people to be quiet any more inside the library. City wide policy. Cell Phone use is not allowed inside, but we get tired of telling people to go outside to use them--we've got a huge sign in the lobby instead. We also have posted all over the library, our Library Rules of Conduct (i'll post a copy of the rules tomorrow). Nor do we have a right to tell patrons what they can't view on the computers, as they are not filtered in anyway. That's not to say we don't sometimes have to wake people up from the floor or kick out pervs for...being pervs. So we just put up with it...usually, other "old fashioned" patrons deal with the offenders...which is quite amusing actually. We've got this one patron, a middle-aged big guy, we call the shusshster...he comes in to use the computer a few days a week and usually manages to find someone to harass. I love that guy.

Luckily for us at our affluent, hidden corner of the city branch, we don't have many teenagers hanging out, nor those pesky transients--save for our special regulars. I'm gonna have a underground rave night at the library one of these days...hmm...maybe a disco nite. Oooh, maybe a mod nite. Sssh...but don't anyone...

You just can't look cool at a bus stop...

Is that a Live Aid T-shirt?

Some folks chose to stand, sit on top the the bench with their feet on the seat, some talk on their mobiles, some hang out on the corner pretending as if they aren't really waiting for the bus, or the classic...walk out onto the street every few minutes to see if the bus is near...nothing changes the fact that you are waiting for the bus and every single person that rolls up next to you in their air conditioned vehicles stares at you like you're the zoo feature. Give up! You may as well just sit next to the old lady with all of her stuff and wave at people. Seriously, stop frontin', you're taking the bus. You can't text message your way out of it! I don't know, it must be a Southern California (L.A.) thing, public transport is just so...so low. Don't get me wrong, I would love to take public transportation if only we didn't have to drive to the station...

Late nite Freestyle poetry

Freestyle - It's Automatic

Girl I can see right through your false defenses
You act as if you can ignore the sound
My force detectors tell me your pretending
All of your systems are about to go down
No need to panic, I know you feel it
If you can stand it, just dance
I'm your mechanic, I know you feel it
This automatic romance

I know the secrets to your circuitry girl
To your diskette I have to access code
Don't try to fight this electricity girl
From all this power you might overload
No need to panic, I know you feel it
If you can stand it, just dance
I'm your mechanic, I know you feel it
This automatic romance

Girl I can see right through your false defenses
Before you know it, I will be in control
My force detectors tell me your pretending
Your force repellers can no longer hold
No need to panic, I know you feel it
If you can stand it, just dance
I'm your mechanic, I know you feel it
This automatic romance

Oscar Wilde's got nothing on Freestyle!

Late nite music with The Dogs

Yo mama's on crack rock! My mama ain't on crack rock, yo mama's on crack rock!

This video was on all the time on the Box video channel...sweet memories of 9th grade. While not exactly an old skool classic, I was delighted to see someone uploaded it. Thanks homes. I've been telling people about this song for years...no one seems to have heard of it. Here it is! Youtube rocks!

The Dogs - Yo Mama's On Crack Rock



Now if I can just find a girl who is into The Dogs and Gore Vidal...

Mis-shapes, mistakes, misfits.

Weekly Branch Roundup

Another exciting week at our branch. Your friendly neighborhood Bookstamper was going to be administratively transferred to the ghetto branch--which meant that it was time to finally (after a year and a half) to pack up my balls and leave. You see, we're finally getting a new clerk. A woman. Another middle-aged woman. In a bizarre kind of departmental trade-off...get one new full-time clerk and sacrifice a half-time one. In the end however, after a couple days of wrangling/bitching by the Branch Manager (previously known as the Senior Librarian), I got to stay...small mercies. Ironically, I was actually excited about quitting. Time do something with those two degrees I reckoned...alas it wasn't meant to be. Soon.

You know there is a kind of reverse sex discrimination in the library department. While I don't know the exact numbers, the ratio of women to men in the department has to be pretty unbalanced. Take our situation, we've got 13 Women to 1.5 Men (okay, 2...I kid). 13:2. I don't think its much different at any other branch in the city. Two explanations--one, men do not wish to work for the library department. Two, men aren't hired to work in the library department.

Some history--as I understand it...the reason why more women traditionally became librarians had to do with the fact that it was much more difficult for educated women to be hired as lecturers and professors and therefore were offered nice quiet jobs sorting/filing/stamping books...seems like they are getting their revenge. But there is another way to look at this...if there is a problem with your local library--blame women ;)

Incident Report. Was a sad day today, and not just because I worked 7 hours on the circulation desk...friendly (elderly) regular library patron Frank, whom I help/teach to use the computer, had his beautiful new 17" Sony Vaio stolen from the teen room while he helped sharpen pencils at the reference desk. We were all shocked. I let him use my wireless mouse today since the expensive Logitech he bought came incomplete. He watched a classic Bogart film on his new headphones. We even put up a Craigslist ad so he could sell the brand new Winnebago he just purchased! I still can't believe someone swiped it. It was toward the end of the day, around 715pm. The suspects/culprits--two young men, whom I didn't see enter or leave the building. They even took the power A/C adapter. Spared his laptop case/wireless mouse. Poor Frank, he even brought me a bag Trader Joes extra large fancy salted cashews today because he knows I like them. I pray those punks find Jesus. Shame. Shame! No real recourse--tried to file a police report...

Complaint Forms. After attending our basic computer class one morning last week (before we opened to the public), a middle-aged woman, after perusing the stacks, came across a book entitled The Customized Body, a full sized photography book featuring graphic/explicit images of mutilated, pierced, tattooed "freaks". She opened up the book to a particularly graphic image featuring two naked men with several piercings on their...you know...petermans, and said, "Do you think this should be on the shelf where any child can get it?" I said...um...um...let me see that picture again! Seriously though, I had no answer for her. She left the standard CITY OF LOS ANGELES LIBRARY DEPARTMENT CITIZEN'S COMPLAINT FORM inside the book, but didn't bother to fill it out. I think she just wanted me to see it. Which didn't bother me as much as she probably hoped it would. So who decides what books end up on the shelves? The answer of course is...I won't tell you, it's a secret. There are tons of books at our library which I personally find offensive...like those damn Jenny McCarthy self-help books! Prose before Hos!



Notable Patron Quotes of the Week.

"If my library card expired, why didn't they mail me a new one?!"

"I didn't bring the movie back on time because it was broken! I didn't even watch it!"

"The Library was closed on that Mexicans holiday"

"I'm on reserve"

The Bitterist April Fools Joke

I'm only here, to bring you free lunch. Complete with a website, a myspace page and menu...this was one elaborate April Fools joke...can't believe fans were making plans to fly out to NYC to visit and trying to make reservations.

The Bitter Apple

The Menu

Main Course

• A Steak That I'm Used To
Served with your choice of mashed potatoes, or Oberkorn on the cob.
• Lasagna, In Itself
Multiple layers of meat, and Precious cheese.
• Dirty, Sticky Ribs
Served with a tasty bbq sauce that will leave you feeling Newborn.
• Fusilli On The Windscreen
Served with a tasty marinara, If You Want.
• Calamari Island
Our grilled calamari, with sun dried tomatoes, black day olives and dips.
• (Set Me Free) Ravioli
Choose either cheese or meat ravioli, smothered in our tangy marinara, and topped with sweet peppers and portobello mushrooms.
• Get The Burger Right
A pound of aged Angus meat, with your choice of two sides.
• Leave In Salmon
A salmon filet, topped with Hollandaise sauce. Served with rice pilaf and vegetables.
• Enjoy The Soup
Our soup of the day.
• Dreaming Of Meat
Our vegetarian special.
• To Ham And To Hold
A baked smoked ham, served sliced with pineapple, honey and cherries.
• Meatloaf Sonata
Our special Home-made meatloaf, seasoned with 15 herbs and spices.
• The Shrimp And The Rainfall
Ten jumbo shrimp, served with an assortment of side dips.
• A Question Of Lunch
In a Rush? Can't decide what you would like for lunch? We'll decide for you!
• The Meaning Of Lunch
Any two of our main courses, and our Sacred Caesar.
• I Feel Lunch
Any three of our main courses, our Sacred Caesar, and a dessert.
• I Want It All
All items on the main course menu, for those who Just Can't Get Enough. It will leave you saying "I Shouldn't Have Done That".
• And Then...
No "and then".

All our meat dishes can be ordered Suffer Well Done, Black And Blue Again or Breathing In Fumes.


Salads

• The Sacred Ceasar
Served with your choice of Blue Dress(ing) or Here Is The House dressing, with crisp lettuce from My Secret Garden.
• Tuna! Tuna! Tuna!
A hearty tuna salad, with tomotoes, bell peppers, garlic and onions.
• The Black Celebration
Black beans, corn, green onions, tomatoes, and our boys say jalapeño peppers.


Side Dishes

• Now, This Is French Fries
Large cut fries, served with ranch, ketchup, mustard and our Dangerous hot sauce.
• World Full Of Nachos
Crisp nacho chips piled high with chili, salsa, monterey jack and cheddar cheese. Topped with your own personal jalapeño cheese sauce, and sour cream on the side.
• A Quiche Of Lust
A tomato quiche with basil, chopped green onions, and eggs.


Desserts
All desserts comes "a la Mode".

• Milkshake The Disease
Available in Vanilla, Chocolate and Agent Orange.
• It's Called A Tart
• Dave's New York Cheesecake
Have "A Little Piece".
• The Sinner In Me
A large slice of our angel food cake, surrounded with a halo of rich dark chocolate.
• Two Minute Waffle
A tasty Belgian waffle, served with your choice of syrup.
• World In My Pie
Your choice of pumpkin, key lime, cherry or lemon pie.
• S'Mores Than A Party
Chocolate terrine with graham-cracker crust, topped with a house-made roasted marshmallow.
• I Sometimes Wish I Was Danish
A fluffy pastry, filled with your choice of almond, cream cheese or vanilla custard.


Drinks

• Sea Of Gin
• The Painkiller
• Pleasure, Little Treasure
• The Big Muff
• The Pimpf
• The Condemnation
• The Personal Jesus
• The Bottom Line
• The Surrender
• The Happiest Girl
• The Barrel Of A Gun
• The Comatose
• The Policy Of Truth

(menu list proudly taken without permission)

Late nite music with CCR & The Bar Kays

Who's funkier?

CCR - Down On The Corner


That crowd is special...CCR just may be the greatest American band ever. You know I never could believe John Fogerty's voice came out from that face! Close your eyes, listen to a CCR tune...just can't picture that voice and that face. Makes me crazy.

The Bar Kays - Son of Shaft


Live at the L.A. Coliseum (1978). That lead singer is one sexy man. His hair was the envy of every man/woman in attendance. He was Prince, before there was a Prince. Heck the whole band looks amazing! Cocaine is a powerful drug...

States of Danger

More dreaded lists...Rankings of Safest/Unsafest states. Every year, a company called Morgan Quinto Press using FBI data releases the Safest States List (or index). Now I don't know exactly who this private firm is or how they sort through the stats, but according to MQP, our Nevadans or is it Nevadidian friends ranked most dangerous state 4 years in a row. That's some accomplishment! Bravo boys! Interestingly, over 87% of Nevada is federally owned wasteland desert. Residual effects of those atomic tests?! The Silver State has 3 "big" cities, Las Vegas (Clark County) , Reno, and Carson City (Capital). It has seen its population grow an incredible 21% from 2000 to 2006. This may account for its alarming crime statistics.

Same goes for Arizona and New Mexico I guess, rapid population increases. In fact, Arizona (aka, the Angry White State), has according to the 2006 census, replaced Nevada as the fastest growing state in the country. Could the fact that so many Californicans have moved to Nevada/Arizona/New Mexico in recent years have anything to do with this...they call them Costal Equity Refugees I think. I'm reminded of an old bumper sticker which was popular in the Northwest, particularly in Oregon which read: Don't Californicate Oregon. Damn Oregonians and their street kid punks!

Now the one state that surprises me the most is Alaska. Alaska always seems to rank pretty high as one of the most dangerous states in the country. I can understand the high suicide rate (6 months of darkness), but why so much criminal activity...boredom? Eskimo gangs?!

Conversely, the safest state in the Union once again is North Dakota, which happens to among the least populated. The state government was offering free land to any citizen to build a home there. Perhaps, I'll look in to it...and the Happy White States of the Northeast are among the safest (with Maryland/DC/Delaware being the exceptions).

Crime: Where Does Your State Rank? Dangerous to Safest:

Rank State 2006 Rank 1 Nevada 1 2 New Mexico 3 3 Arizona 4 4 Maryland 5 5 Tennessee 8 6 South Carolina 6 7 Alaska 9 8 Florida 7 9 California 10 10 Louisiana 2 11 Michigan 12 12 Texas 11 13 Arkansas 15 14 Washington 16 15 Oklahoma 14 16 North Carolina 17 17 Alabama 18 18 Delaware 24 19 Missouri 20 20 Georgia 13 21 Illinois 19 22 Colorado 22 23 Ohio 23 24 Mississippi 21 25 Indiana 28

Rank State 2006 Rank 26 Pennsylvania 29 27 Kansas 25 28 Hawaii 26 29 Oregon 27 30 Massachusetts 30 31 New York 31 32 Minnesota 35 33 New Jersey 32 34 Kentucky 33 35 Rhode Island 38 36 Virginia 37 37 Nebraska 34 38 Utah 36 39 Idaho 40 40 Connecticut 39 41 West Virginia 41 42 Wisconsin 44 43 Iowa 43 44 Montana 42 45 South Dakota 45 46 Wyoming 46 47 New Hampshire 47 48 Maine 49 49 Vermont 48 50 North Dakota 50

Source: Morgan Quinto Press using FBI statistics
Table taken from Yahoo Finance CNNMoney.com

Psychiarty Kills!

Stanford Prison Experiment DVD cover

I first heard about the Stanford Prison Experiment and Dr. Philip Zimbardo during the whole Abu Ghraib prison scandal a couple years ago. I don't know how I feel about this really. On one hand I completely agree with Dr. Zimbardo that environmental/physical conditions & situational/systemic conditions affect behavior--good or bad. And put in certain circumstances, we may all be capable of all kinds of unspeakable acts. I take issue however with the selective use and politicizing of such "science" when justifying sadistic/abusive acts carried out in the so-called "war on terror." Our friends on the Right, harp endlessly about personal responsibility and knowing right from wrong on everything from affirmative action to AIDS to abortion to street gangs and criminal behavior, almost always reject any attempt to explain such behavior using similar arguments. Ironic no? Dr. Zimbardo was even part of the defense team for one of the top AG prison guard during his trial. Below are two clips from the film.

Quite Rage: The Stanford Prison Experiment

"When you put that set of horrendous work conditions and external factors together, it creates an evil barrel," writes the eminent situationist psychologist Philip Zimbardo, known for his famous Stanford Prison Experiment in the early Seventies.

"You could put virtually anybody in it and you're going to get this kind of evil behavior," he continued. "The Pentagon and the military say that the Abu Ghraib scandal is the result of a few bad apples in an otherwise good barrel. That's the dispositional analysis. The social psychologist in me, and the consensus among many of my colleagues in experimental social psychology, says that's the wrong analysis. It's not the bad apples, it's the bad barrels that corrupt good people. Understanding the abuses at this Iraqi prison starts with an analysis of both the situational and systematic forces operating on those soldiers working the night shift in that 'little shop of horrors."

Friday's (3/30/07) Democracy Now! had an extensive interview with Dr. Zimbardo and featured several clips from Quiet Rage. Worth checking out. His new book is entitled The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil.

And finally, How Psychology can explain the Iraqi Prisoner Abuse from the American Psychological Association.

Makes the good vs. evil arguments quaint no?