The Bitterist April Fools Joke

I'm only here, to bring you free lunch. Complete with a website, a myspace page and menu...this was one elaborate April Fools joke...can't believe fans were making plans to fly out to NYC to visit and trying to make reservations.

The Bitter Apple

The Menu

Main Course

• A Steak That I'm Used To
Served with your choice of mashed potatoes, or Oberkorn on the cob.
• Lasagna, In Itself
Multiple layers of meat, and Precious cheese.
• Dirty, Sticky Ribs
Served with a tasty bbq sauce that will leave you feeling Newborn.
• Fusilli On The Windscreen
Served with a tasty marinara, If You Want.
• Calamari Island
Our grilled calamari, with sun dried tomatoes, black day olives and dips.
• (Set Me Free) Ravioli
Choose either cheese or meat ravioli, smothered in our tangy marinara, and topped with sweet peppers and portobello mushrooms.
• Get The Burger Right
A pound of aged Angus meat, with your choice of two sides.
• Leave In Salmon
A salmon filet, topped with Hollandaise sauce. Served with rice pilaf and vegetables.
• Enjoy The Soup
Our soup of the day.
• Dreaming Of Meat
Our vegetarian special.
• To Ham And To Hold
A baked smoked ham, served sliced with pineapple, honey and cherries.
• Meatloaf Sonata
Our special Home-made meatloaf, seasoned with 15 herbs and spices.
• The Shrimp And The Rainfall
Ten jumbo shrimp, served with an assortment of side dips.
• A Question Of Lunch
In a Rush? Can't decide what you would like for lunch? We'll decide for you!
• The Meaning Of Lunch
Any two of our main courses, and our Sacred Caesar.
• I Feel Lunch
Any three of our main courses, our Sacred Caesar, and a dessert.
• I Want It All
All items on the main course menu, for those who Just Can't Get Enough. It will leave you saying "I Shouldn't Have Done That".
• And Then...
No "and then".

All our meat dishes can be ordered Suffer Well Done, Black And Blue Again or Breathing In Fumes.


Salads

• The Sacred Ceasar
Served with your choice of Blue Dress(ing) or Here Is The House dressing, with crisp lettuce from My Secret Garden.
• Tuna! Tuna! Tuna!
A hearty tuna salad, with tomotoes, bell peppers, garlic and onions.
• The Black Celebration
Black beans, corn, green onions, tomatoes, and our boys say jalapeño peppers.


Side Dishes

• Now, This Is French Fries
Large cut fries, served with ranch, ketchup, mustard and our Dangerous hot sauce.
• World Full Of Nachos
Crisp nacho chips piled high with chili, salsa, monterey jack and cheddar cheese. Topped with your own personal jalapeño cheese sauce, and sour cream on the side.
• A Quiche Of Lust
A tomato quiche with basil, chopped green onions, and eggs.


Desserts
All desserts comes "a la Mode".

• Milkshake The Disease
Available in Vanilla, Chocolate and Agent Orange.
• It's Called A Tart
• Dave's New York Cheesecake
Have "A Little Piece".
• The Sinner In Me
A large slice of our angel food cake, surrounded with a halo of rich dark chocolate.
• Two Minute Waffle
A tasty Belgian waffle, served with your choice of syrup.
• World In My Pie
Your choice of pumpkin, key lime, cherry or lemon pie.
• S'Mores Than A Party
Chocolate terrine with graham-cracker crust, topped with a house-made roasted marshmallow.
• I Sometimes Wish I Was Danish
A fluffy pastry, filled with your choice of almond, cream cheese or vanilla custard.


Drinks

• Sea Of Gin
• The Painkiller
• Pleasure, Little Treasure
• The Big Muff
• The Pimpf
• The Condemnation
• The Personal Jesus
• The Bottom Line
• The Surrender
• The Happiest Girl
• The Barrel Of A Gun
• The Comatose
• The Policy Of Truth

(menu list proudly taken without permission)