Lyrically Speaking. Part Un.

Just plain bad and/or bizzaro lyrics. Some of my favorite tunes make no sense! This will be an ongoing feature on the blog starting, well now. Stupid Lyrics (or lyrics that make sense only to those who don't actually listen to lyrics).

Air Supply - Even The Nights Are Better

Even the nights are better
Now that we're here together
Even the nights are better
Since I found you, oh

No shit the nights would be better. Now if he had said, Even Tuesday mornings at the library are better--that shit would have real meaning for me and made sense.

Positive K - I Gotta Man

I got a man

I'm not tryin to hear that

Now you can persist to play Don Juan all day
But ain't nothin gonna change

Yeah baby, sure you're right
I'ma break it down and do whatever I gots to do
I tell you know, I got eyes for you

You got eyes, but they not for me
You better use them for what they for and that's to see

You know what's the problem, ya not used to learnin
I'm Big Daddy Longstroke, and your man's Pee Wee Herman

I got a question to ask you troop
Are you a chef, cause you keep feedin' me soup

You know what they say about those who sweat thyself
You might find yourself, by yourself
I'm not waitin because I'm no waiter
So when I blow up, don't try to kick it to me later

All them girls must got you gassed

A-when they see a good thing they don't let it pass

Well that's OK, cause see if that's their plan
Cause for me, I already got a man

What's your man got to do with me?

I got a man

I'm not tryin to hear that see

I got a man

What's your man got to do with me?

I got a man

I'm not tryin to hear that
What am I, some crab inmate
that just came home from jail sweatin you for a date?
I don't want no beef, I just wants to get together

But how you talkin, pssssh, whatevah!

We can't have nothin

It all depends
Well if we can't be lovers than we can't be friends

Well then I guess it's nothing

Well hey I think you're bluffing

Well I'ma call my man

Well I can get raggamuffin
Ya better catch a flashback remember I'm not crabbin it
You know my style, from I'm Not Havin It

All I remember's an excuse me miss
You can't get a guy like me with a line like this

Well look I'll treat you good

My man treats me better

I talk sweet on the phone

My man writes love letters

I'll tell you that I want you, and tell you that I care

My man says the same except he's sincere

Well I'm clean cut and dapper, that's what I'm about

My man buys me things and he takes me out

Well you can keep your man, cause I don't go that route

Don't you know yu haffa respeck me

There's a lot of girls out there who won't say no

You're out for mami with your DJ Money

Boom batter my pockets is gettin fatter
I wanna turn you on and excite you
Let me know the spot on your body and I bite you
So when your man don't treat you like he used to
I kick in like a turbo booster
You want lovin you don't have to ask when
Your man's a headache, I'll be your aspirin
All confusion, you know I'll solve em

I got a man

You got a what?
How long you had that problem?

For those unfamiliar with this hip hop classic, it's about trying to pick up a girl (say, at a club--or as my ghetto friends would say--holla at a bitch, kid). Theres a back and forth/a tit-for-tat/ping for pong going on between Mr. K and a female vocalist (in italics representing all those kind girls who turn a brother down). So after spending countless verses on trying to pick up on a girl--building a brother up, braggin' about how well he'd treat her and all that jazz (jazz? who still says that? A person who uses the word dapper, that's who), she tells him that her man buys her things and takes her out. To which he replies, you can keep your man cause I don't go that route. He then continues to try to pick up on this girl. Geez.

How long you had that problem?