The Market is falling!

So much for my retirement accounts. Another headline like this--Lehman bankruptcy filing shows $613 billion debt, and I'm going to have to stop using my stimulus package on lapdances. $613Bn. Seriously? How does this happen? Someone explain! Surely Governor Gidget Palin will save us! Say, whatever happened to the guillotine? I decree now would be a good time for it to make a historic comeback. Begin with them pesky whiners and their mental recession! Say what? You owned LEH and AIG? Listen, this will all be over soon enough. Think of the losses you can write off.

Say, what are the visa requirements for Canadian residency?

Cup half-full--lapdances will stay reasonably priced for some time to come. Oooh, 2 for 1 specials. Don't despair!