Alma Salsera
Seriously, what are you doing with your life? Now do it on one leg.
Onto the 50 Most Loathsome People in America by some rather Beastly people...finally an end of year list I can agree with. Well, mostly, as I would have added a certain genocidal maniac to the list.
Biggest disappointment for the year. It was bound to happen sooner or later. My favorite 2008 Presidential candidate drops the ball big time a new campaign ad which panders to the worst reactionary elements on the Right (just days before the Iowa caucus). Et tu Dr. Paul? Por que? Now who the hell am I supposed to support? Guess I'll have to wait for the Green Party candidate...I'm sure we'll find sometime late in July 2008 at some budget motel conference room in Stockton.
My favorite local media moment(s) of the year. Captures the absolute vacuous nature of local television news. About ten seconds during a half-hour newscast is set aside for some local area soldier serving overseas to introduce him/herself and give the proverbial shout out to some back home. So, some Pvt. Guerrero introduces himself and sends his wishes to family (awww). The on-screen graphic below simply read "The Middle East". Wow. How hard would have been for the "professional journalists" at the network to find out where he was? I would have used "A Bad Place" myself.
Where could he have been?
My favorite book of 2007. Um..didn't read a new book in 2007.
My favorite record of 2007. Um...another shit year for new music...what the hell did I listen to all year? Favorite single--Bat For Lashes / What's a girl to do. Most overrated--JUSTICE--the sound of "new" French electro, I don't get it. After seeing JUSTICE live a few months back, I kept thinking, what on earth are these kids so excited about?! Chain smoking, giant crucifix proppin', French poseurs! Here...listen to the Chemical Bros. circa 1995. The Bros. have already worked it out.
My favorite films of the year. Given I only saw 4-5 new films on the big screen this year...Sean Penn's Into The Wild (based on Jon Krakauer's book) about Chris McCandless' journey across the country and his unfortunate death in Denali National Park, Alaska was memorable. Though the film did become a bit tedious toward the end...my 2nd favorite, Control by Anton Corbijn about the life/death of Ian Curtis of Joy Division. Visually stunning, moody, wordy and some very good acting. Cheers!
My favorite politician of 2007. Who else, Mahmoud Ahamdinejad. The man has his own blog for Intelligent Designer's sake.
Onto the bad Peter Parker. Spider-Man 3. Finally saw it on video a few weeks back (library loan of course). First appearance of Venom (Amazing Spider-Man 300 for those of you who still live with mother). In a shell filled with far too many nutty plot lines and characters --A dark alien substance crashes into earth. Attaches itself to Peter. The transformation begins as Peter goes dark--sort of. The substance completely attaches itself to Peter as he lay in bed, but only notices that his suit has is completely dark atop a high-rise building window. Spider-Man feels the awesome power of this new look. But I'm getting ahead of myself...after fighting/defeating his Goblin friend (Harry) for the 400th time, Yuppie Goblin bumps head and like many a soap opera gets amnesia and forgets everything--for the time being. Then a startling discovery, the real killer of the Big Kahuna, wasn't that one geezer but rather a burly bloke in fabulous striped green tee shirt named Flint Marko (who, not unlike Notorious B.I.G. was just trying to make some money to feed his daughter or something). Flint escapes prison and falls into some kind of advanced research corn/veggie testing silo and turns into an Arab--the Sandman rather. Before I forget, someone is crying in every single frame of the film. And as one reviewer quipped, I felt as though I need a hug after the film. Okay here we go...this is all from memory, so try to follow along. So Spidey fights Sandman--avenges Uncle Ben. Leaves him for dead. Gloats to Aunt May that Uncle Ben's killer is dead! She reckons he's a neo-conservative or something to that effect. Takes small sample of the dark substance to his professor friend. Peter wallows in the accolades and becomes one vain Spider dude. Kisses Gwen Stacy his lab partner at school (Amazing Spider-Man #31 for those who live in your sister's basements) at a grand public ceremony honoring him--much to the displeasure of Mary Jane. Relationship troubles. Mary Jane loses her acting/singing/theatre gig. Aunt May gives Peter her wedding ring. Peter sets up a delightful dinner (complete with phony French maitre d) at restaurant to propose. Mary Jane cries. Peter cries. Unable to reach Peter (as he is never there for her), find a empathetic ear in Harry the Yuppie Goblin, arrives at his home where they share an omelet and a kiss. Harry is a brilliant painter and chef apparently. Guilt filled Mary Jane rushes out of the place. Harry regains memory. Schemes to destroy Peter/Mary Jane's relationship. Succeeds. Peter cries. Mary Jane tells him that she's found someone else. Harry meets Peter at coffee shop to break the new that he's the other guy. Peter, like Luke Skywalker before him, exclaims, It's impossible! Harry grins then disappears like the bogey-man. Then that Gopher guy from some 70's Show arrives and schemes to land the staff photographer gig at the Daily Bugle. Succeeds only after producing a phony photo of Spider-Man escaping with a sack of cash. Peter exacts his revenge and exposes Eddie Brock as a kind of Chalabi fraudster he is. J.Jameson swiftly fires Eddie and is humiliated at his own hiring party. At this point Peter's journey to disillusionment is complete and allows the dark nature of to take over--his mannerisms/appearance is altered--for the bad. Really bad. Fights the Yuppie and literally blows him up and leaves him for deaf. Not deaf. Death! He pulls his hair down over his forehead (goes for the unkempt tough-guy look), buys a dark suit, then proceeds to disco dance down Broadway like an asshole. But the rank assholery doesn't end there, oh no...it gets worse--he gets the slightly retarded anorexic Russian immigrant girl to feed him freshly baked cookies while Dr. Connors relays the dangers of the dark substance. Now if that wasn't bad, get this. He takes Gwen Stacy out to this happening Jazz club (daddy-O), where there are all sorts of colored people mulling about. It's also where his ex-troll, Mary Jane is working for tips. He then proceeds to show off his piano playing prowess while Mary Jane sings (startled she was), then swing dances the doors off the place. Here is the major climax in the film, as the scene ends with Peter kicking everyone's ass in the place and knocking Mary Jane down to the floor. More crying. Geez, this review is as convoluted as the film itself. So Peter now realizes that his dark side has gotten the best of him...after choosing to don the dark suit--which is one of the underlying morals of the story--free will or something. In any case, he now has to fight the darkness, which he manages to do atop a cathedral. All the while Eddie Brock--now an unemployed drunken mess watches from below. The epic struggle (with himself) ends as the darkness is pulled off. The dark substance free falls and lands on Eddie who is then transformed into the monstrous Venom. The Sandman (left for dead so we thought), comes back with vengeance now. Rage filled Venom filled seeks out Sandman, forms a kind of alliance to squash the spider, kidnaps the troll and so the stage is set for the final battle. Mary Jane, bound and dangling oh-so-dangerously high above the city, inside a yellow taxi (trap set by the badies)...epic fight commences. Spider-Man is literally being pounded by the Arabs fists when lo! Behold! Another plot twist,Yuppie Goblin (scarred but not dead it turns out), appears to help save the day. Hooray! Spidey and Harry team up and you guessed it, win! So in the third installment of Spider-Man, everyone from the first two films it seems makes an appearance (dead or alive). A re-hashing of the Uncle Ben storyline, the Osborn storyline (Avenge me!), and even more with great power comes great responsibility morality. While not a complete mess, hearing Mary Jane sing (her own voice) two full songs damn near pushed me over all kinds of edges. sharp jagged ones. And Spidey's inner struggle storyline was about as genuine as the SDC...more on the SDC later.
Au revoir 2007!
Final Thought. Aren't we about due for a new UFO craze? Every decade or so it seems...2008 should be the year. Dennis Kucinich should start it. I like Dennis. His pockets are like treasure troves...a pocket constitution? What are we supposed to to with that?
1 comment:
lol...no motel room in Stockton; they'll be camping by the road. Remember they need to raise money for homemade campaign ads on Youtube!
(really though, what better choice do we have?)
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